Can We Please Talk About The Extremely Vague Job Titles On ‘Love Is Blind’?
I guess ex-tank mechanic is just code for unemployed.
In case you missed it, Love Is Blind on Netflix is all the internet is really talking about right now.
The show is all about testing whether love truly is blind by conducting a social experiment that starts with the couples never seeing each other before getting engaged. While everyone is patiently waiting for the season finale to see which couples actually stay together, I’m just still asking myself one thing — what the hell is going on with the job titles on Love Is Blind?
Yes, the premise of the show is kinda bonkers, and some of the people on the show are equally as confusing (ahem, Jessica). But the job titles for the contestants are so mind-blowingly vague. After seeing Amber’s job listed as “ex-tank mechanic” and finding out she was actually unemployed and drowning in debt, it got me thinking about what everyone’s actual jobs are.
Sure, some are pretty self-explanatory like Gigi being a “business owner” or Lauren being a “content creator” but what the hell does Jessica being a “regional manager” even mean? A regional manager of what exactly?! And why is Cameron labelled a “scientist” when he explicitly states he works in artificial intelligence in the first episode while talking to Lauren? I am truly baffled, so let’s dissect these bonkers occupations.
The job titles on “love is blind” are so broad. “General manager”? Like of a baseball team or a ralph’s? Scientist? Why even tell us anything
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) February 23, 2020
Amber The “Ex-Tank Mechanic”
Ok, as we discussed earlier, Amber is unemployed. Let’s not beat around the bush — she literally told Barnett that she “works to live,” and doesn’t “live to work” and her goal was to become a stay-at-home mum. There’s nothing wrong with the ambition of wanting to have a family and dedicating your life to it, but there is something wrong with bringing nothing but $20,000 in unpaid student loans and a maxed out makeup credit card to new relationship.
Anyway, Amber’s insta bio says that she is “GA Army Guard”, which means working on tanks might actually be a plausible job. But once you stop doing a job, can you really claim that as your occupation? I used to sell furniture in university, but I would never describe myself as an ex-salesperson, you know?
Following criticism that she wasn’t working during filming, Amber uploaded an Instagram post to explain herself. “I was hurt at work and dealing with legal issues over my workman’s comp,” she wrote alongside a gallery of boot photos. “I’ve been working since I was 14, thank you very much.”
Dead at how they keep calling Amber an ex-Tank Mechanic on Love is Blind because she’s unemployed, indebted, homeless and still doesn’t want a job.
— Big Odun Energy (@OdunEweniyi) February 23, 2020
Cameron The “Scientist”
King of all our hearts, Cameron, probably has one of the most vague job titles of all. According to his LinkedIn page, Cameron has a Bachelor’s in Psychology, a Master’s in Neurophilosophy and another in Artificial Intelligence. Our very smart boy has also had his own artificial intelligence company since 2019, and has worked as a data science consultant for the last five years.
So my question is… where the hell did the job title “scientist” come from exactly?! If Cameron has his own business, much like Gigi does, how come he didn’t also get the job title of “business owner” too? Or even, I don’t know, something that has do with artificial intelligence considering that’s how he describes his own occupation on the show?
The job titles on #loveisblind are fucking laughable.
Cameron is a Scientist. What? You know who else was a Scientist? Walter White.
Also Cameron, give Lauren some space.
— andy war_holes (@sqvid_bdfos) February 22, 2020
Jessica And Damian The “Managers”
Now look, at least regional manager and general manager are actual job titles. But the problem is, without context, they’re so vague. It’s like saying someone is a “singer” when they’re just part of their church choir on every third Sunday of the month. Context is really everything here.
We know that Jessica is earning bank by the look of her house and her fixation on the whole six-figure salary thing. Plus, a title like regional manager is nothing to laugh at — it’s actually pretty damn impressive. In what looks to be her LinkedIn profile, it seems like Jessica was a regional manager at Box, a cloud-based content management system for businesses.
As for Damian, real name Mark as we found out during his wedding, he’s a little harder to figure out. A Mark Powers LinkedIn profile in Macon, Georgia — an hour away from Atlanta — has the job title of general manager listed at a food and beverage provider. With this information we can assume that Damian is a GM at a hospitality company.
What are these job titles on Love is Blind? “General manager” like of what? CVS? Applebee’s? Pebble Beach Golf Course? The Four Seasons? There’s levels to this and they matter 😂
— ChelPowell (@ChelPowell) February 26, 2020
Kelly The “Health Coach”
Have you ever wondered why Kelly’s job title said health coach and not fitness instructor like Mark’s? Well, that’s because when Netflix say “health coach” they really actually mean multi-level marketer (MLM). Yep, like Arbonne and Herbalife, Kelly is part of a pyramid-selling program called Beachbody.
While she calls herself a “certified international health/life coach”, at the end of the day Beachbody operates like any other MLM. According to her LinkedIn, as Beachbody coach, Kelly mentored her team of three and “developed client relationships.” This means that Kelly started as a Beachbody customer herself, and worked her way up to eventually cop a 25% cut of any fitness sale her team brought in.
Oh yeah, and remember that little conference that Kelly had to attend right after coming home from Mexico? Yep, it was for a Beachbody meeting — a Coach “Super Weekend” summit in San Diego to be exact.
One of the things I'm enjoying about Love Is Blind is the dystopian vagueness of their job titles. pic.twitter.com/uXBay51A6W
— Nick Hilton (@nickfthilton) February 24, 2020
The entire job title thing is just so confusing. As an example, I can’t understand the logic behind the extreme vagueness of Kenny’s job just simply being “sales” while Diamond’s is the super-specific “professional basketball dancer”.
It’s almost like Netflix should’ve just scrapped the occupations completely — considering it added pretty much nothing to the show’s narrative — and replaced it with star signs. At least that way, we would’ve known and be prepared for Jessica being a Cancer from the very start.