Culture

Here’s What Australia Googled The Most In 2018 And Dear God We’re A Stupid Country

"What is ligma?"

If, like us, you’re nearly exhausted by all the end of year lists and reviews from every single god damn app and internet site, fear not, as this latest one from Google is a little bit different.

Unlike Instagram’s for example, which focused on all the love spread across the world via the photo-based social media service, Google’s most searched trends for 2018 are not inspiring or heartwarming at all. They are in fact a snapshot of one of our nation’s foremost exports: stupidity.

2018 was a dumb as hell year in many ways and Australians are certainly not immune from the odd bout of idiocy (shout out to our politicians!) so whilst it shouldn’t be surprising that Aussies en masse googled “How to win Powerball” this year, it’s still mildly concerning.

As are “What is ball tampering” and “How to cook corn” to be honest, but nothing comes close to how gloriously embarrassing it is how many of you all Googled “What is ligma”.

google trends embarraLIGMA stands for Loose Internal Gene Mi-Asintits, FYI.

The aforementioned searches all rank in the top ten of their respective groupings, but in an overall sense, the biggest trends for Aussies in 2018 were a mix of sporting events, celebrity deaths and, of course, Meghan Markle.

Meghan is also responsible for the number one news-related search trend “Royal Wedding” with “Thai cave rescue” in second and the ultimately super spicy Wentworth by-election coming in third. Cop a look at those full lists below:

Overall

  1. World Cup
  2. Commonwealth Games
  3. Meghan Markle
  4. Avicii
  5. Coinspot
  6. Anthony Bourdain
  7. US Open Tennis
  8. Mac Miller
  9. Bitcoin price
  10. Black Panther

News events

  1. Royal Wedding
  2. Thai cave rescue
  3. Wentworth by-election
  4. My health record
  5. Beaumont children
  6. Hawaii volcano
  7. California fires
  8. Listeria
  9. US midterm elections
  10. Blood moon

As for individual celebs, oh look it’s Meghan Markle taking out top spot again alongside pop star Demi Lovato and dearly departed Queen frontman Freddie Mercury, no doubt due to the popularity of 2018 biopic Bohemian Rhapsody.

Specifically in regards to local “celebs” Barnaby Joyce’s year of stepping on rake after rake after rake was enough to catapult him to the number one most searched Aussie, with the triumvirate of evil completed with Scott Morrison and Peter Dutton in 2nd and 3rd.

Global figures

  1. Meghan Markle
  2. Demi Lovato
  3. Freddie Mercury
  4. Khloe Kardashian
  5. Logan Paul
  6. Tristan Thompson
  7. Hailey Baldwin
  8. Sylvester Stallone
  9. Khabib
  10. Travis Scott

Aussies

  1. Barnaby Joyce
  2. Scott Morrison
  3. Peter Dutton
  4. Billy Slater
  5. Craig McLachlan
  6. Vikki Campion
  7. David Warner
  8. Chopper Read
  9. Nick Cummins
  10. Andrew Gaff

Loss

  1. Avicii
  2. Anthony Bourdain
  3. Mac Miller
  4. xxxtentacion
  5. Stan Lee
  6. Kate Spade
  7. Aretha Franklin
  8. Burt Reynolds
  9. Jessica Falkholt
  10. Eurydice Dixon

Here’s the absolute best bit though mates, the thoroughly face-palm inducing “How to”s and “what is”s of Aussie Googlers. Unsurprisingly “How to opt out of my health record” was numero uno, after the disastrous rollout of the government’s online health data hub causing widespread privacy concerns.

Despite now generally being considered worthless and a huge mistake, Aussies galore were still keen to wrap their heads around the concept of bitcoin, with related searches featuring in a couple of the most popular queries. If you’re still curious on “How to buy bitcoin” here’s the proper answer: don’t.

Also, huge LOL to “why is my internet so slow” ranking near the top. Australia, Australia, this is you!

How to…?

  1. How to opt out of my health record
  2. How to watch World Cup in Australia
  3. How to win Powerball
  4. How to delete Instagram
  5. Google Arts and Culture face match how to
  6. How to buy bitcoin
  7. How to lose weight fast
  8. How to screenshot on iPhone X
  9. How to delete Facebook
  10. How to lose belly fat

What is…?

  1. What is bitcoin
  2. What is listeria
  3. What is ligma
  4. What is hazing
  5. What is a mud room
  6. What is the capital of California
  7. What is open on Good Friday
  8. What is Diwali
  9. What is blockchain
  10. What is ball tampering

Why is…?

  1. Why is State of Origin on Sunday
  2. Why is it called Good Friday
  3. Why is Russia OAR
  4. Why is Australia Day Jan 26
  5. Why is Tim Cahill not playing tonight
  6. Why is ANZAC Day important
  7. Why is Australia Day celebrated
  8. Why is my internet so slow
  9. Why is Nick Cummins called the honey badger
  10. Why is my poop green

Recipes

  1. Keto recipes
  2. Beef stroganoff recipes
  3. Chicken curry recipes
  4. Frittata recipes
  5. Gnocchi recipes
  6. Risotto recipes
  7. Chicken soup recipes
  8. Fried rice recipes
  9. Omelette recipes
  10. Beef stew recipes

“How to cook…?”

  1. How to cook corned beef
  2. How to cook eggplant
  3. How to cook tofu
  4. How to cook silverside
  5. How to cook beetroot
  6. How to cook rice in the microwave
  7. How to cook corn
  8. How to cook couscous
  9. How to cook crayfish
  10. How to cook barramundi

Well, there you go. Aussies had a very silly year. Thanks for being there for us Google!