The Government Made You A Kind Of Racist And Very Cringe-Worthy Clip About Cyber Security

You know it's gonna be good when it features Merrick Watts.

by Meg Watson 7 February 2015

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With Canberra steadying itself towards total implosion and our Prime Minister’s public image becoming near inseparable from that of the gacked bruz making eyes with you in the club at 4am, it’s been a little hard to keep concentrated on actual politics this week.

How can anyone keep a level-headed discussion about our treatment of asylum seekers or potentially problematic legislation on data retention when a leading cabinet minster goes on morning TV and calls someone a c*nt? It’s distracting.

Leadership of Australia to be settled at Woy Woy Maccas carpark tonight. Be there. pic.twitter.com/D5IoXkb68T

— Matt Burke (@matttburke) February 5, 2015

But, now that we know things are officially ON and this turd of a situation is on its way to an eventual resolution, it seems like a good time to reflect on the things that we’ve missed.

Case in point: the day after Tone started this whole thing by knighting the most incredibly inappropriate 93-year-old on the planet, the government quietly released this embarrassment of a clip about cyber security.

It was made by the Australian Cyber Security Centre as an educational tool for individuals and businesses, it stars Merrick Watts, and it is certifiably the worst.

So, here’s some information you’ll need to digest whatever that was. The ACSC is a federal body comprised of both staff and funding from the Defence department, the Attorney General’s department, ASIO, the Federal Police and the Australian Crime Commission. Their overarching goal is to combat cyber security threats facing the nation, and better educate the public about how to both recognise and report unusual activity.

“[This video was an attempt to] create an online video that makes cyber security relatable in real world terms to a wide audience, particularly non-technical audiences, concluding with a call to action to report incidents,” ACSC co-ordinator Major General Steve Day told The Mandarin.

“We have tried something different, humour, to try and engage our audience, while delivering our serious message,” Day said. As this is the organisation’s first attempt at such a strategy, he then welcomed feedback from the wider community concerning how they can fine-tune their method in the future.

With that in mind, here’s some things they should probably get rid of:

The bit where it’s funny because nerds are gross and will never get laid much as cool guys like Merrick Watts.