Miss Piggy And Kermit The Frog Are Separating After 40 Years; Love Is Even More Dead Than It Was Before
Yes, you can take the day off work. You need to be alone right now.
Good morning. Please, sit down. I have some news for you, and it’s best if you hear it sitting down.
After 40 years, Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy are calling it quits. They announced the news this morning. Yes, you can have the day off work. You need to be alone right now.
Here is the official statement from @RealMissPiggy and myself regarding our relationship: pic.twitter.com/uHCSsokqWR
— Kermit the Frog (@KermitTheFrog) August 4, 2015
Here is the official statement on @KermitTheFrog and moi’s relationship termination: pic.twitter.com/0OAdorFV6S
— Miss Piggy (@RealMissPiggy) August 4, 2015
Speaking to the US Today Show, Miss Piggy said that while she has no problems working with her ex in a professional capacity, the romantic aspect of their relationship is truly over. “Dating moi is like flying close to the sun. It was inevitable that Kermit would drop down to the ground while I stayed in the heavens,” she said.
Kermit? He’s…he’s not doing so good.
News of the split comes just a day after that other great power-couple, Gwavin, announced their divorce after thirteen years of marriage, leaving many to wonder if there’s hope for any of us in this stinking garbage world. Kermit and Miss Piggy were a rock, a note of calm and certainty in an increasingly strange and unpredictable modern society.
Yes, they fought. Every couple worth its salt fights, that’s how you know you’re alive! That’s how you know what you have is worth fighting for.
But they always made it work. Somehow, they always pulled through. They took a strength from one another, a quiet understanding that they could face the vast, lonely world and all its dangers head-on, so long as they didn’t have to face it alone.
Remember their wedding? They made Charles and Diana look like a balding office manager and a cocktail waitress getting 3am-married by Elvis in a Las Vegas chapel. It was the wedding of the century. They were so happy then.
If they can’t make it work — if 40 years of committed love in the eye of Hollywood’s cyclone can vanish just like that — what hope do any of us have? Precious little, it seems.
Hold your loved one close tonight. You never know when they may be gone.