Gwen Stefani And Gavin Rossdale Are Getting Divorced, Proving Definitively That Love Is Dead
GWAVIN. NOOOOOOOOOO.
It’s over. The dream is dead.
I’ve suspected for a time that love, that great indefinable force that has driven the human spirit for so long, is dead. The signs were all there: Wiz Khalifa and Amber Rose breaking up. Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner splitting. Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick on the rocks. Will Smith and Jada Pinkett divorce rumours. It’s as if all the old certainties mean nothing in this scary new world.
Now news confirming the worst has come through: pop superstar Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale, lead singer of world-renowned Pearl Jam tribute band Bush, are filing for divorce after thirteen years.
Gwavin is over.
IT OKAY. DON’T BE CRY.
“While the two of us have come to the mutual decision that we will no longer be partners in marriage, we remain partners in parenthood and are committed to jointly raising our three sons in a happy and healthy environment,” the couple said in a joint statement. “To that end, we respectfully request privacy from the media during this time.”
Twitter has reacted sombrely to news of love’s demise, with people expressing concern for the couple’s three children, Kingston, Zuma and Apollo. With those names their lives were going to be struggle enough. Now this.
Oh hell no! Gwen Stefani and Gavin are getting a divorce! What about Kingston, Zuma, and Apollo! #hollabackgirl
— Laura K (@LauraAimeVous) August 4, 2015
Reba and gwen stefani announcing their divorces on the same day when I’m still struggling with Ben and jen ending it?? Feels personal — Ellee Craig (@elleecraig) August 4, 2015
I will believe that Gavin Rossdale and Gwen Stefani are divorcing when Will Smith tells me so himself and not a second sooner.
— Courtney Gilmour (@courtgilmour) August 4, 2015
As of the time of publication, Avril Lavigne and Chad Kroeger were still together despite everything, keeping the fragile, guttering flame of love alive in this cold, uncaring universe. Reports that Gavin Rossdale is lying on his single bed staring at the ceiling while ‘Glycerine’ plays on repeat remain unconfirmed.
