Yesterday we published an article titled “We Compared Seal And Lorde’s Greatest Hits To See Who Comes Out On Top”. The article was an attempt to objectively analyse which artist had produced the most hit songs. It included one song from Seal (‘Kiss From A Rose’) and Lorde’s entire discography.

The article was a follow-up to an earlier story we published titled “Seal Slammed Lorde On ‘The Voice’, Sit The Fuck Down Seal” that reported on Seal’s criticism of Lorde’s ‘Green Light’.

We received a significant amount of criticism on social media in response to our comparison of Seal’s good music (‘Kiss From A Rose’) and Lorde’s (‘400 Lux’, ‘Biting Down’, ‘Bravado’, ‘Buzzcut Season’, ‘Easy (Switch Screens)’, ‘Everybody Wants to Rule the World’, ‘Flicker (Kanye West Rework)’, ‘Glory and Gore’, ‘Green Light’, ‘Hard Feelings/Loveless’, ‘Homemade Dynamite’, ‘Ladder Song’, ‘The Louvre’, ‘Liability’, ‘Liability (Reprise)’, ‘The Love Club’, ‘Magnets’, ‘Meltdown’, ‘Million Dollar Bills’, ‘No Better’, ‘Perfect Places’, ‘Ribs’, ‘Royals’, ‘Sober’, ‘Sober II (Melodrama)’, ‘Still Sane’, ‘Supercut’, ‘Swingin Party’, ‘Team’, ‘Tennis Court’, ‘White Teeth Teens’, ‘A World Alone’, ‘Writer in the Dark’ and ‘Yellow Flicker Beat’).

This is so unfair, Oz. Crazy is a great Seal song from before you were born. Do your research.

— John Nicolay (@johnnicolay) June 26, 2017

Funny. But also Crazy.
(sorry)

— Ruby Hamad (@rubyhamad) June 26, 2017

Crazy all the way

— Lucy Thackray (@LucyThack) June 26, 2017

Don’t erase Adamski’s “Killer” just for a savage burn. (She still wins)

— stereogamous (@stereogamous) June 26, 2017

Even our CEO weighed in:

I mainly had an issue with the fact that you considered ‘Kiss from a rose l’ a good song. Totally expected only good Seal song to be Crazy.

— Neil Ackland (@NeilAckland) June 26, 2017

On Facebook a number of commenters provided their own highly complex analyses of Seal’s discography. Glenn Smith wrote nearly 400 words on the topic, including this numerical comparison of Lorde and Seal’s respective chart success:

A Facebook account called ‘This is why you’re wrong’ said “Bullshit. Let’s consider albums” before expanding:
John Thompson wrote “FFS, these types of whining hyperbolic articles really make me question what is Junkee, and why am I even following it?”.

Richard White added “Confirmed junkee as shit at articles”.

Our Apology To Seal

We want to acknowledge and respond to the feedback. We hear you, Seal fans. We had no idea you existed, and that you cared this deeply about the man, but we hear you.

We would like to amend our list of Seal’s hit songs to reflect the fact that he has, in fact, got two. 1991’s ‘Crazy’ and 1994’s ‘Kiss From A Rose’. Additionally we would like to acknowledge that he provided the vocals on another hit, Adamski’s ‘Killer’, also released in 1991.

To reiterate, we now accept that across Seal’s 26 year long career he has released three genuine hits. But we stand our claim that Lorde, whose entire life fits into the span of Seal’s musical career with six years to spare, has produced 34 hits.

This means that Seal’s ratio of hit songs to years spent making music just under 1-to-9. Lorde, who released her first EP in 2012, has a ratio of approximately 7-to-1.

We would also like to take this opportunity to point out that Seal’s first album is called Seal, his second album is called Seal, his fourth album is called Seal IV, his seventh album is called Seal 6 and his ninth album is called 7.

Again, we’re sorry.