While You Were Sleeping, Kevin Rudd Was Rejecting All The ‘Kevlova’

Katy Perry’s ‘Roar’ video is ridiculous, yet enjoyable

Look at her cool tan! Woah, how did she make that spear out of a stiletto heel? I wish I could shower in dirty elephant trunk water! Maybe I should buy myself that cool phone she’s using!

These are the thoughts that will go through your head while watching this clip, if you’re an idiot.

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Kevin Rudd was pretty boring on Annabel Crabb’s Kitchen Cabinet, hey

On last night’s second instalment of ‘Vote For The Old Man Who Cooks Better’, Annabel Crabb dropped by Kevin Rudd’s incredible house in the middle of some Brisbane forest for a spot of high tea with the current-but-probably-not-much-longer PM. She made him some mini pavlovas, cutely dubbed them ‘Kevlovas’, dolloped delicious-looking passionfruit curd all over them, and then he didn’t even eat one. NOT ONE. All of Australia shook its head in unison.

Besides that national scandal, the current-but-probably-not-much-longer PM seemed sleepy as shit during the wide-ranging chat. Still, he cheered himself so nerdily for once winning a tea-blending competition, reminisced on his childhood theatre exploits in Moliere plays, awkwardly referred to his historic apology speech to the stolen generations as “the Indig thing”, and described his ’96 election loss in his local seat of Griffith as more devastating than being ousted from the top job in 2010, which is pretty ridiculous, but then again cyborgs feel things differently to the rest of us. Overall food rating? Creamy.

Catch the full episode here, but don’t expect him to eat the goddamn pavlova.

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Yahoo unveiled their hip new logo

And by “hip new logo”, we mean “Gah, c’mon Yahoo, just stop it.” Or, as the video’s top YouTube commenter says: “You paid money for this? Wow. Welcome back to 1998.” That’s probably not the reaction the increasingly irrelevant former tech giant was going for, since they called it “whimsical, personal and proud.”.

Still, I guess we should feel some homeland pride in the fact that they chose to soundtrack the big reveal to a song by locals Empire Of The Sun? Nah, f**k that.

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Sarah Silverman’s letter about her dead dog will make you laugh, make you cry

Comedian Sarah Silverman had a dog. It was called Doug ‘Duck’ Silverman, a 19-year-old chihuahua/pug. Unfortunately, the dog died this week, and Sarah Silverman let all her emotions out in a touching letter posted on WhoSay.

He was a happy dog, though serene. And stoic. And he loved love. Over the past few years he became blind, deaf, and arthritic. But with a great vet, good meds, and a first rate seeing-eye person named me, he truly seemed comfortable. 

Recently, however, he stopped eating or drinking. He was skin and bones and so weak. I couldn’t figure out this hunger strike. Duck had never been political before. And then, over the weekend, I knew. It was time to let him go.

The rest of it is actually sadder, so click here if you wanna cry into your coffee cup this morning. In honour of Doug, let us remember the time Sarah Silverman tried to marry him.

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