While You Were Sleeping, Tony Abbott Cooked You A Big, Fat Steak

It didn't look too bad. Also, Arcade Fire released a cryptic trailer, the Xbox One got a release date, and more.

Arcade Fire just released a cryptic trailer about something

So, Arcade Fire fans: Looks like some exciting shit (a new single?) is gonna go down at 9pm on September 9 (9.30pm Newfoundland time, you figure it out). The Montreal drama-rockers just dropped a video teaser for their new album Reflektor that’s cryptically titled ‘Reflektor 9/9/9’, which is a dramatic series of numbers, because Arcade Fire.

Rolling seas, timpanis, piano keys? Yep, sounds like Arcade Fire. The album’s officially due out on October 29. Prepare your old person clothes!

Tony Abbott was pretty boring on Annabel Crabb’s Kitchen Cabinet, hey

Last night was significant for silly foodies who are deciding on how to vote this Saturday based on candidates’ cooking abilities, or something — Tony Abbott appeared on Annabel Crabb’s Kitchen Cabinet to show off his skills with meat (“Oh yeah, the trusty barbie, the trusty barbecue!”, he yelled). He also awkwardly bumbled around with salmon and herb butter for Annabel The Vegetarian.

The episode, which started with Crabb symbolically bringing along a “nutty” apple and quince crumble, featured a lighthearted chat with Abbott and his kitchenhands, uh, daughters Bridget and Frances (who talked a lot about Bronwyn Bishop’s shoes).

The duo discussed his “high profile chap” days at Sydney Uni (when he apparently used to go around ripping down Che Guevara posters), his days studying for the priesthood with the Jesuits, the “candid advice” he got from then Libs leader Malcolm Turnbull following the party’s tumultuous days after the ’07 election (watch the segment: to my old man ears, he totally says “in a fuck”, right?), and his previous flirtations with Julia Gillard (“We had a genial and respectful exchange in an airport lounge a few weeks ago.”). Also, Crabb hilariously embarrassed everyone with an offhand comment about Cory Benardi’s thoughts on bestiality.

We didn’t really learn anything too exciting, though, other than the fact that Abbott will quit politics if he loses on Saturday, so the ball’s in your court, Australia. Overall food rating: meaty?

Catch the full episode here, and tune into ABC1 at 8pm tonight when Kevin Rudd takes us all out for high tea (oh boy).

Australia, your Xbox One has a release date

It’s November 22! And it’ll cost you $599! That means it’ll be in stores just ahead of the PS4 ($549), whose previously announced release date is November 29. In summary, you’re gonna be poor as shit by the end of November. Start stocking up on tins of creamed corn, nerds.

Here’s the announcement in the form of an extremely boring video featuring a couple of poorly-dressed losers, if you’re very bored and/or hate yourself:

Here’s your first full look at the final season of Eastbound & Down

“I remember when this show was funny” says YouTube commenter EuroTrip59 in an exasperated exclamation of existential malaise. We hear you, Euro. You’d think that a peek at the show’s upcoming final season would at least make reference to that much-discussed Lindsay Lohan cameo, but nope, there’s a just a whole bunch of phoenix metaphors.

The show’s fourth and final season debuts on HBO on September 29.

Eddie Murphy made a reggae song with Snoop Lion

It’s called ‘Red Light’. It’s no ‘Party All The Time‘ dancefloor hit, but it’ll do for uni student bong sessions.