Culture

Government Frontbenchers Are Boycotting ‘Q&A’, Ironically Making It Vastly More Watchable

HOW WILL WE GO ON.

by Alex McKinnon  6 July 2015

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And so we enter Week Three of being forced to talk about that fucking Zaky Mallah Q&A episode again. If I’ve actually died and this is my own personal Purgatory to atone for all the terrible things I did while I was alive, please let me know in the comments.

ANYWAY. According to the Herald‘s Matthew Knott, government frontbenchers have been banned from appearing on the show until further notice on the orders of the Prime Minister, who has nothing more important or pressing to dedicate his limited time towards, apparently, this is the most urgent matter facing the nation right now (italics mean that I am shouting). 

The news came courtesy of Agriculture Minister and sunburnt potato Barnaby Joyce, who had to withdraw from the program at late notice because of the PM-imposed boycott. Joyce is the third conservative figure to abruptly pull out of a Q&A panel in the last couple of weeks, along with backbencher Alan Tudge and commentator Nick Cater. It’s not known whether any of these gentlemen conveyed their withdrawal by offering a high-five to a Q&A producer before suddenly dropping their hand, yelling “SIKE!” and running away giggling, but who would be surprised by that at this point, honestly.

All of which leaves Q&A with the near-impossible task of making thoughtful, intelligent television without the help of great modern-day thinkers like George Brandis, Eric Abetz and Peter Dutton. Who will tune in to Q&A if they know they’ll be deprived of watching Barnaby Joyce call marriage equality “decadent” or threaten to kill a celebrity’s dogs?  You know, besides absolutely everybody.

 

A few days ago the ABC announced an external inquiry into the Zaky Mallah episode to be led by Ray Martin (who is just happy to have something to do, really), following the conclusion of a government review into the episode and preceding a mandated five-year period of wailing and gnashing of teeth before the government gets back to doing their fucking jobs. What a time to be alive.