Watch John Cusack Get Mad At Youths And Mobile Phones In The Very Silly ‘Cell’ Trailer
Your dad was right — smartphones CAN turn you into a zombie!
Ah, what a beautiful morning. Sure, you could feel down in the dumps about a lot of things today: we’re just about to hit another record month for soaring temperatures, our Prime Minister can’t understand why poor people keep complaining about housing prices and hell, Jon Snow isn’t even back yet.
But then you see the trailer for Cell and all of a sudden, all your troubles just melt away. Cell is a Stephen King book that was written in 2006, which is now a film starring a very worried-looking John Cusack and less-concerned Samuel L. Jackson.
Before you watch the glorious trailer, please enjoy this vivid plot description: “At the Boston airport, Clay (Cusack) witnesses a scene of chaotic mayhem when an electronic signal turns hundreds of cell phone users into rabid killers. Desperate to find his estranged wife and son, Clay teams with a train driver (Jackson) to battle the horde of murderous ‘phoners’ as the city descends into apocalyptic madness.”
If you are thinking, ‘Man, this sounds like a parody of how old men are so easily annoyed by young people and their phones’ then yes, you would be absolutely correct.
It’s difficult to pick the greatest moment from this trailer. Is it the ominous “WHAT IF THEY CONTROLLED US?” title card, which is much more fun when you imagine an old person saying it? Is it the explanation that this zombie outbreak might “be the next stage in human evolution” and a cut to Samuel L. Jackson shooting every zombie Millennial he sees? Is it the fact that John Cusack keeps bleating, “I NEED TO SEE MY SON!” as he fights to find his estranged wife (Why is the wife always estranged in these movies? Does she hate smart phones too?)
Is it this bit?
Cell is a real movie that is really coming out, and I have never been happier about anything. (Make sure you text during the film too, so you can really piss of those Baby Boomers, weeeee!)
Cell comes out in July 2016.