The Magpie Has Won Australia’s Bird Of The Year Contest Because Democracy Doesn’t Work
We demand a recount.
The Magpie is Australia’s Bird of the Year. And I for one am fucking fuming.
The beady-eyed feather-shit, scourge of cyclists and small children everywhere, pipped the majestic white ibis at the post in one of the most hotly contested votes in the history of Australian democracy. In a ballot conducted by The Guardian and Birdlife Australia, magpies received 19,926 votes compared to the bin chicken’s 19,083.
The result has sent many social media users into a bird-related frenzy, which is entirely fair enough if you ask me.
Magpie wins Australian bird of the year poll. Good God, I’m already mergh but this has sent me to the smelling salts. [Lies back down] [In disgust] https://t.co/FxhLY7VwjC
— Katharine Murphy (@murpharoo) December 10, 2017
The magpie? Oh, you mean the Fucked Sky Rat
— Rob Stott (@Rob_Stott) December 10, 2017
— ER Anderson ? (@EstherR_And) December 10, 2017
But seriously, when will moderate Magpies start denouncing the violence carried out by other magpies? #BirdOfTheYear
— Michael Keating ?? (@D_Keating) December 10, 2017
THE MAGPIE!???!!! I take this as a personal insult, Australia. Fuck you. #birdoftheyear
— Will Sinclair (@sinclair_will) December 10, 2017
You only voted Magpie out of fear. I understand.
— Sydney Weather Tweeter (@glengyron) December 10, 2017
The magpie’s victory is a disgrace, however it has allowed me to explain to my boyfriend the spring ritual of decorating an ice cream container for protection from swooping pic.twitter.com/oKaVpAnwel
— elle hardy (@ellehardytweets) December 10, 2017
— Jonathan Hair (@JonathanHair) December 10, 2017
Nothing but respect for MY Bird of the Year pic.twitter.com/GVxt4AKfaY
— A Christmas Prince #1 Fan (@JennaGuillaume) December 10, 2017
It doesn’t matter which bird wins #BirdOfTheYear
The kookaburra will have the last laugh.
— James Reinhardt (@Just_James_) December 10, 2017
On the positive side, given the state of politics in this country, it’s only a matter of time before the black and white rat bird is unseated in a leadership spill.
Feature image via Wikimedia.