Culture

Horny Film Buffs Are Arguing Over Who Is The World’s ‘Sexiest Dead Man’

We must rank the hot dead men.

by Jared Richards  9 November 2018
Paul Newman, James Dean and Toshiro Mifune compete for the title of the Sexiest Dead Man

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Earlier this week, a long overdue Idris Elba took out People’s annual Sexiest Man Alive award. Congrats, dad! Yet the internet’s capacity of thirst couldn’t be sated by this ranking of alive men: soon, they turned to the legion of hot dead guys, too.

Specifically, the hottest dead film actors from old Hollywood. Twitter account Movies Silently took us into these troubled waters with on Wednesday, asking ‘classic film twitter’ (sure) who they’d nominate for Hottest Dead Dude. And turns out classic film Twitter is both super horny and super into brooding, troubled men.

The account got things started with Russian silent film actor Ivan Mosjoukine: he doesn’t speak because his eyes say more than you could ever dream.

The standard hot dead actors were all mentioned, of course — your James Deans and the like. Jimmy Stewart, Paul Newman, Marlon Brando, Montgomery Clift.

For some, there was something quaint about their choice. One user chose James Cagney because of the bizarre way he kissed on-screen: with a Ouija board, maybe they could teach him a thing or two.

As to expect with film nerds, several picks proved that thirst can still be a way to flex your niche knowledge. We’re not mad, though: thank God we now know Toshiro Mifune was a man who once walked the Earth (and, through some evil, horny magic, can maybe walk into my life).

The whole list might inspire a new generation of necromancers, to be honest. I mean, have you seen James Shigeta’s headshot?


Some preferred their men a little more mature, seasoned, like Cary Grant in Notorious. Or rugged and brooding, like all American Hero Gary Cooper.

While there’s no definitive Sexiest Dead Man as of yet, it’s clear that we, the thirsty public, are the true winners. Lose yourself for hours in the Twitter thread here, which, at the time of writing this thirsty article, has over 1000 replies.

Oh, and our vote? Well, it’ll have to be Katharine Hepburn in 1935 film Sylvia Scarlett, where she plays the titular con artist who dresses up as a man to evade the police. It does strange things to me.