Culture

My Dad Idris Elba Rightfully Named As Sexiest Man Alive And The Thirst Is Too Real

*my longest "aww duhhhh" of all time*

by Mitch Feltscheer  7 November 2018
Idris Elba Sexiest Man Alive Duh

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Idris Elba has been named as 2018’s sexiest man alive, confirming what anyone with eyes and a functioning heart has known to be true for a while now.

The British actor, model and my dad has rightfully been instated as the hottest-damn-piece-of-ass-in-all-the-lands by People magazine, stealing the crown from Blake Shelton who bewildering took out the title last year, despite being about as sexy as a hessian sack filled with expired meats. (Just this writer’s humble opinion).

Elba tweeted out his faux-surprise (surely the dude owns a mirror?) at receiving the gong with a pic of him lording over the front cover of the mag and exuding the kind of look he’d give you as he surprises you with a breakfast in bed that he’d just spent two hours creating for you.

“What’s the occasion?”, you ask. “You are”, he sensually replies.

Of course, he also used the moment to encourage people to vote in the US midterm elections, despite not even being a citizen of said country. He just cares that much, you guys! He’s perfect and pure and we all want to lick his face!

It appears I’m not alone in my thirst for our new Sexual Overlord, with the internet joining me in being desperately parched and craving Idris Elba hydration.

OOOF. Clean up on aisle me.

Here’s Daddy talking to People about his lofty new title and being his all-round snacc-like self:

Let’s hope the other results coming out of America today are as equally as boner inducing. Check out the People write up here for more thirst traps.

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Images via People magazine / David Burton