‘Rupaul’s Drag Race UK’ S3E8 Recap: The Bore Wars

In space, no one can hear your fart jokes: watching Drag Race, we’re not so lucky. This week, RuPaul shows the queens what she expects with ‘Bra Wars’, a script filled with the exact broad humour she raged against a few weeks back, during the infomercial challenge. 

Look, I get it: like Ru insinuates to Ella this week, part of the challenge is transforming a naff script into something funny. Hearing Ru’s forced laughs (surely they have a soundboard at his point) after every other non-punchline does show how there was no real reason to go in on the queens a few weeks back. Were those Draglexa commercials really that much worse than a sketch that includes ‘Baby Yolo’ and yet another reference to Valentina’s mask? (And, while we’re here, justice for Rock M Sakura, who went home for his ‘crude’ fart jokes)

Complaining about Drag Race’s judging is pointless at this point, but this season has felt so uneven, with the odd double saves and double sashays (including Veronica going the week Victoria had to leave). For a ten-episode season, the pacing is soooo slow – and this week’s non-elimination and double-win sure didn’t help, especially when Ru herself says she’s “surprised” Vanity is still in the competition. You’re the one who sends people home! 

Two episodes from the finale, we’ve got Krystal and Kitty on two wins each, with Ella ahead with three and Vanity on one (though those latter two both have a badge from the girl group challenge which IMO barely counts).

It’s either Kitty or Ella for the win at this point: while Kyrstal continues to get the highest praise (to the point that it’s somewhat condescending??), there’s a sense the show is trying to establish that she’s ‘too young’ to wear the crown just yet. Meanwhile, Vanity remains, assumedly because they need four queens for next week’s roast. Let’s get this recap a-cooking: I’m a little done. (I’ve also famously moved house this week and my widdle anemic body has broken down on me, so I’m sorry if I’m let out a bit of steam here.)

‘Bra Wars’ Is A Perfect Bad Title For A Screen Australia-Funded Series About The Bra Boys

As last week’s winner, Kitty gets to assign the roles for this week’s challenge: she takes the lead Brabarella, gives Ella Darth Shader and Krystal She-3PHO, leaving Vanity with Baby Yolo. The roles are all pretty equal, in that they’re all bad.  

Thank God for Kitty, who knows the episode needs a little je ne sais fun: she forces the queens to audition for the roles, including making Vanity attempt a Scottish accent. Producers, take note — we just want to watch drag queens be stupid!

I’m sure nerds are very angry that Drag Race added Daleks and references to Alien and Barbarella into Star Wars, but if there’s one thing to praise this episode, it’s the challenge’s hokiness. The cheap sets were a clear nod to BBC’s old-school budget Doctor Who, and while none of the references really made sense or were used particularly well (I want to see Kitty strip in zero gravity!), it was fun to watch. 

From the get-go, it’s clear that Krystal and Vanity are the bottom two this week: neither do badly, but Ella and Kitty are in their element. Sure enough, that’s what happens, though we get the obligatory fake-out as we see Ella and Kitty struggle with some lines. It’s almost like the dialogue is unnatural and intentionally difficult to say!

When we get back to the werkroom, the queens chat about safety as drag queens and queer people. Ella and Vanity aren’t comfortable with PDA, with Ella citing a recent encounter with a homophobe on her street, and then the queens open up about how punters don’t respect physical boundaries when they’re in drag. Consent! Pretty easy stuff.

DRUK3’s ‘mirror chats’ have been some of the most produced of recent seasons, but that’s not to say they aren’t affecting or important: I think this batch of queens just struggle to naturally introduce the week’s talking points, which is why it feels a little weird when this top four transition into talking about the ‘safe space’ they’ve created in the competition.

I’m sure there’s a great sisterhood there, but I don’t really feel it as a viewer in the same way I have in other seasons — say, when Ginny and Bimini talked about being non-binary. The ‘episode a day’ production schedule has been debunked, but there is something very rushed about this season: that glue just isn’t there, even if I love (most of) the cast.

Selena Gomez &  _____ (‘The Scene’ Was Stolen)

This week’s runway is homages to ‘scene stealing’ characters, which apparently can literally mean the protagonist of a film — but if we were sticklers to the theme, we wouldn’t have gotten Kitty’s delightful take on Rose from Titanic.  

On Instagram, Charity shared that she would have been a punk Marge Simpson, AKA ‘Yellow Mother’: I would have loved to see it on the show. But as for looks we actually saw, I’m far more inclined to watch a 2 hour 40 version of Cruella starring Krystal, based off her runway; Vanity has the unfortunate issue of picking the same B.A.P.S. reference as Symone; and Ella’s sexy Oompa Lumpa is an absolute delight. A Roald Dahl runway would be very cute (sans, uh, the anti-Semitism). 

The queens are pretty sure that it’s Vanity and Krystal in the bottom, but the show squeezes out another surprise by calling them safe. No-one’s going home, and Ella and Kitty lip-sync to Girls Aloud for the win: watching Ella drop with those parachute pants… does things… to me.

Despite Ru’s objections about ‘everyone getting a trophy’ in today’s culture, both Ella and Kitty are given the win (shortly after that common rant on What’s The T?, Drag Race started to hand out trophies to each eliminated RuGirl). Next week should be a little more interesting, as we’ve got a roast, where the queens will make fun of themselves and the eliminated queens, who will be in the audience. I was kind of right: Victoria is returning after all, just not exactly as I hoped.

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RuPaul’s Drag Race UK S3 is available on Stan, with episodes arriving each Friday 6am AEST.

Jared Richards is Junkee’s Drag Race recapper, and a freelance critic who has written for The Guardian, The Monthly, NME and more. He’s on Twitter @jrdjms