Culture

All The Best Memes About Nicki Minaj And Her Cousin’s Friend’s Swollen Balls

"I can just hear them printing 'Nicki Minaj's cousin's friend's balls' on A Cards Against Humanity card."

by Michelle Rennex  16 September 2021
NICKI MINAJ'S COUSIN'S FRIEND'S BALLS MEME

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In case you missed it, Nicki Minaj has a cousin in Trinidad. And Nicki Minaj’s cousin in Trinidad has a friend. And Nicki Minaj’s cousin’s friend has swollen balls.

The baffling revelation, which has aptly been dubbed #BallGate, started just before the Met Gala kicked off on Tuesday morning. Despite not attending the fashion soiree like she usually does, Nicki Minaj still managed to dominate the conversation.

After the Barbz — Minaj’s passionate and ferocious fanbase — quizzed the rapper on Twitter over whether she would be present for the gala, the conversation quickly went south. And by south, I mean straight to her cousin’s friend’s balls.

Minaj told her fans that she would not be attending the Met this year, in part because of the event’s vaccination requirements.

“They want you to get vaccinated for the Met,” she tweeted. “If I get vaccinated it won’t be for the Met. It’ll be once I feel I’ve done enough research. Working on that now.”

The rapper also shared that she wasn’t planning on leaving the house because she contracted COVID while “prepping for [the] VMAs” and has an “infant with no nannies” during the pandemic.

Minaj also claimed that Drake contracted COVID while vaccinated and that she “had the exact same symptoms as people with the damn vaccine” when fans explained that vaccinations don’t prevent transmission but rather help to alleviate symptoms.

But regardless of what people told her, Minaj was determined to do her own research before eventually getting the jab because she “has to go on tour”. Sadly, part of the “research” she was conducting included an unverified WhatsApp chain message-style claim she heard about her “cousin’s friend” in Trinidad.

“My cousin in Trinidad won’t get the vaccine cuz his friend got it & became impotent. His testicles became swollen,” Nicki Minaj told her impressionable fans without verifying the information first.

“His friend was weeks away from getting married, now the girl called off the wedding. So just pray on it & make sure you’re comfortable with your decision, not bullied.”

#BallGate And The Swollen Testicle Memes

From here, #BallGate well and truly took off.

Doctors instantly recognised that the impotence and swelling being spoken about was likely the result of hydrocele — a condition that is caused by either injury or an STD like chlamydia or gonorrhea.

Realistically, someone wouldn’t really call off an entire wedding just because their partner’s balls were swollen weeks before the nuptials. Instead, it would make perfect sense that the wedding was called off after the bride realised her fiancé had cheated, caught an STD, and then tried to blame it on the COVID vaccine.

But instead of dying down with the clarificiation, the “Nicki Minaj’s cousin’s friend’s balls” discourse just continued to snowball. Over the last few days, Minaj has beefed with UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson and giant pissbaby Piers Morgan over her swollen ball comments, which resulted in an absolutely chaotic voice note to the PM in a British accent and the rapper telling Morgan she has a “clown nose and big red shoes” for him.

Minaj has also allegedly been invited to The White House to chat, backed Fox News’ Tucker Carlson, and forced Trinidad & Tobago’s Minister of Health to publicly deny her cousin’s friend’s big ball claims.

“Unfortunately, we wasted so much time yesterday running down this false claim,” Terrence Deyalsingh said about the rapper’s tweet that sent the world into a spin. “There is absolutely no reported such side effects or adverse event of testicular swelling in Trinidad… and none that we know of anywhere else in the world.”

There you have it, folks. Trinidad has confirmed that Nicki Minaj’s cousin’s friend did not get swollen balls from the COVID vaccine. But hey, it sure is fun to laugh about.

So here are the best memes that have come out of #BallGate and that one man whose walking around with grotesquely swollen balls in Trinidad:

Honestly, just a moment of silence for him.