‘MasterChef Australia’ Recap: Derek’s Trying To Transcend Time Again
So I guess it’s time for another episode of MasterChef Australia. This entire season means nothing any more, but sure. Let’s continue this charade.
With the last episode having banished my beautiful spice boy Sandeep, MasterChef Australia has now whittled its top 24 down to 2019’s top 10 — though not the top 10 in my heart.
As such, the theme of this week is “the best of the best”, which is funny because the best of the best is not here.
Anyway. This episode’s 60-minute Mystery Box is filled with some of Coles’ best-selling ingredients: Salmon, trussed tomatoes, beef mince, strawberries, onion powder, coconut cream, coriander and soda water, AKA the devil’s spit. Turns out Australians are, on average, rather boring.
There’s no Pressure Test this week, so contestants are competing for the chance to cook for immunity. Thus, without the threat of excommunication keeping them in line, they take the opportunity to get a bit silly.
Tati is cooking coriander noodles, which she has never made but saw Tessa do in the MasterChef auditions. Larissa is making a coriander and coconut ice cream, as she wants to experiment with mixing savoury and sweet. Anushka is making a strawberry and tomato salsa, reasoning that “they are all fruits” in what is probably the first time anyone has ever treated tomatoes like fruit.
Pretty much everyone and their extended families are confiting salmon. Derek, however, decides to pan fry his fish, concerned that it will shrink if he poaches it and having missed the memo that confit is in right now. He wants to do a savoury dish to get his head out of Sweet Week, so he’s ignoring the siren call of strawberries in favour of salmon and noodles in tomato and coriander broth.
Though a little lost at the beginning, Derek pulls it together and decides to roast tomatoes and add coriander oil to boost the flavour. This fixes his dish right up, and he’s surprised by how much flavour he’s gotten from the ingredients. “It actually tastes quite nice!” Derek says to the camera. It would be a lot more reassuring if he didn’t sound so shocked.
The judges agree that Derek’s dish is a hard one to beat, with a delicious broth and fish that’s perfectly cooked despite the colour on it. Anushka’s fresh and flavourful confit salmon with tempura skin and strawberry and tomato salsa also goes over surprisingly well, hitting at the judges’ love of crispy skin anything.
However, it’s Nicole’s confit salmon with tomato and crispy noodles that stands out. Her decision to give her Thai-style broth some acidity via tomato seeds seems to have paid off, and the judges declare she has “out-brothed Derek”.
Matt says he’s torn between Nicole and Derek’s dishes, but it’s obvious from their joyful noises that Nicole is the winner. She’s sent up to the balcony to daydream about accessorising her MasterChef apron with an Immunity Pin, and everyone else gears up for the Invention Test like they didn’t just do a whole bunch of inventing.
For the Invention Test, contestants are presented with three of Australia’s best-loved ingredients: Vegemite, Milo and tomato sauce.
They have 75 minutes and an open pantry to make a dish featuring one of these ingredients, which is bad news for Tati because she does not like either Vegemite or Milo. Fortunately, she thinks she can use the tomato sauce to make a chilli and black pepper crab.
“I don’t want to blow George palate away today though so four small chilli and two big one,” says Tati. I don’t think that is how chilli works, but I trust her.
Simon wants to show off his inventiveness, which is good because that’s what you’re supposed to do in an Invention Test. He’s going full vegan smokehouse, roasting cauliflower and serving it with a Vegemite and black garlic toum. It sounds barely acceptable, but I will still never visit that restaurant.
After Matt warns Simon to be careful with the balance of flavours, he decides to eschew a traditional toum in favour of adding cooked onions and garlic. He’s happy with the result, which he smokes and then pipes onto the plate to go underneath the cauliflower.
He also microwaves his cauliflower before putting it in the oven to make sure it’s nice and tender in the centre, and adds some thinly sliced mushrooms for a bit of freshness. I’m still not sold, but also I’m still bitter he’s still here after the beetroot sauce debacle.
Meanwhile, Derek’s gotta Derek. He’s making Milo doughnuts, which he full well knows is an absolutely ridiculous thing to attempt in the time he has, but he’s doing it anyway. Somebody please teach this boy how time works.
“It’s a bit crazy to be attempting doughnuts in 75 minutes,” says Derek. “But it’s the type of person I am.”
He isn’t wrong. Just off the top of my head, this season Derek has screwed up custard buns, mille-feuille and fried ice cream due to lack of time. In his mind, nailing these doughnuts will be redemption for all the cooks he borked before, just as his salmon made up for the undercooked barramundi he served Rick Stein. He doesn’t seem to understand that he doesn’t need redemption — he needs to learn.
“Oh come on, mate,” says Nicole from the gantry as Derek giggles like a man divorced from reality.
MasterChef‘s judges echo Nicole’s sentiments. “You have lost the plot, haven’t you?” says Gary after Derek admits he intended to double proof his dough. This prompts Derek to finally concede that perhaps time is a thing that exists, and he opts to single proof his dough instead. It may not be as airy as it should be, but there is absolutely no time for a double proof.
“This was a dumb idea,” he laughs to himself, knowing full well he will repeat it if given half the chance.
seeing derek this big rig giggling the whole time he’s making those damn donuts is just real adorable man #MasterChefAU
— Kari 🍋 (@karikart) June 23, 2019
Derek’s so pushed for time that he only starts frying the doughnuts with 10 minutes to go. They have to be cool before he can pipe in the Milo creme patisserie because challenging the limits of temperature and time seems to be Derek’s thing, so he rushes them to the fridge after coating them in sugar.
He ends up piping in the filling with only 30 seconds to go, but Derek manages to get two doughnuts on his plate against all odds. I’m glad because I want him to do well and not be humiliated, but also it might have been better for him in the long run if he’d not gotten anything up and learnt a valuable lesson about human limitations.
I'm just happy that Derek was able to serve doughnuts when even the judges doubted him 🥰🥰🥰 #MasterchefAU
— I'll be the Liz to your Harry (@abilovestv) June 23, 2019
Derek is such a dope, I alternate between thinking he's cute and he's dumb #masterchefau
— underboi (@underboi_6) June 23, 2019
Tati’s chilli peppercorn crab in prawn broth and tomato sauce is white people hot, the pepper giving it a kick, and the judges very much enjoy it. Ben’s also proud of the silver leaf he put on his Milo vanilla ice cream with bananas and biscuit tuile, meant to resemble the aluminium foil on a Milo tin.
However, the judges love Simon’s roasted cauliflower with black garlic toum and sherry caramel. They say it’s just as good as lamb chops, which sounds fake but OK. Simon wins hands down, which means he will join Nicole in the Immunity cook later this week.
Not everyone’s dishes worked out. Anushka’s Milo panna cotta didn’t set, and the pastry on Tessa’s banana malt tarte tatin is undercooked despite her pre-baking. Christina’s pork ribs are underwhelming, and Prince Harry’s duck fettuccine with Vegemite lacks flavour.
Further, Derek sadly remains bound by the constraints of linear time. Though his Milo donuts with vanilla ice cream are cooked and relatively light, don’t contain enough custard. “They’re very, very good, but they’re not brilliant,” says Matt.
Fortunately for the fallen, this is the one cook where screwing up does not matter at all. Just this once, everybody lives. For now, anyway.
Amanda Yeo is a Sydney-based writer, lawyer and MasterChef enthusiast who still thinks Reynold should have gotten an immunity pin for his 30/30 dessert in season seven. Follow her on Twitter: @amandamyeo.