‘Masked Singer Australia’ Recap: Seer Sophie Monk Says ‘Tik Tok, This Production Will Soon Stop’
The real guessing game is now trying to work out which dancer has COVID-19.
In an opening line he probably regrets now, Osher Günsberg introduces this week of Masked Singer with “the stakes have never been higher”. Given the show was shut down this weekend while filming the finale after seven staff tested positive for COVID-19, watching these episodes is more than a touch tainted — you can’t help but try and spot where the dancers bunch up together on-stage.
Sure, Osher can say the set was incredibly safe, but at the end of the day, it’s surprising that Masked Singer could be determined essential enough to film during Melbourne’s stage four lockdowns. The show is suddenly embroiled in these bigger questions of how money makes people and productions exempt from restrictions — think the man allowed overseas to pick up a luxury yacht, or how Dannii Minogue was allowed to quarantine from home.
It’s just a bit dark, isn’t it? Of course, as a whole, everyone working on the show wants to be safe and sincerely tried their hardest, no doubt. But as a machine, the show’s more concerned with the show and profits than any individual’s health — why else film during such a vital point during Melbourne’s lockdown?
It’s entertaining, sure, and that’s worth a lot (especially right now), but at a time when Melbournites are really going through it and sacrificing their sanity, the fact this show, which requires hundreds of hands on-set, has been filming just… it feels gross. And it’s not fun to say that, because this show is fun and dumb! I’d prefer to just write about the desperation underneath the show, rather than this extra dark layer.
Then again, they’re linked — the same compulsion to reignite a career or free yourself from the shackles of failure (as we saw from Sophie Monk tonight, who found herself only able to sing under a mask after years of ridicule) is the same driving force behind the show, itself a seeming desperate gamble by Channel 10 to ensure ratings, given they can only do so many Bachelor and MasterChef seasons in one year. And it works!
Channel 10 ‘considering’ casting a BIPOC Bachelor.
The debasement is fascinating, and the show’s built with a cringe-watch in mind: it’s great (trust me, I do love-hate this show, having written 10,000+ words on it by now). Judging by the ratings, it’s what audiences want, too — the sheer ‘zaniness’ might seem like a desperate gamble, but really, it’s incredibly safe, low-risk TV (except for that whole pandemic thing).
The real risk is scripted dramas or comedies, but then again, I wouldn’t be recapping that and you wouldn’t be searching for articles on them, either — we’re the problem! Sorry. This is grouchier than Oscar, but the COVID shutdown really sullied the show for me. Hopefully Cactus and Kitten tomorrow will get me back into the mood.
Then again, this week the show introduced group performances and they sung Justin Timberlake’s song from the Trolls soundtrack, which is only further fuel to my theory that this show is a psyop to drive every queer person in Australia insane. The true puppet was Fred Nile all along.
Anyway, let’s get ‘guessing’.
Queen
A deleted scene from the ‘WAP’ video.
Kate Miller Heidke is great. She sings ‘Sparkling Diamonds’ from Moulin Rogue! and exudes the overt theatricality we expect from her.
We know it’s her by this point, and I can’t even be bothered paying attention to the clues, but I hope she makes it all the way to the end: her performances are the best part of the show each week.
Just an incredibly talented singer who deserves the world — hopefully this show gives her the name recognition for even bigger productions and works than she’s known for, though under COVID the opportunity might pass her by. Maybe not.
Frillneck
Why does Frillneck look like a dog you’ve just caught doing something very naughty?
“I love this song! This is one of my favourite songs!”, says Hughsey when Frillneck begins to play the first piano keys of ‘Madworld’, echoing every 14-year-old boy watching who has just watched Donnie Darko for the first time.
But Hughsey and the teenage boys are right: ‘Madworld’ is a great song and Donnie Darko holds up, surprisingly. Hopefully Frillneck plays the Amélie theme next week, because that’s the cinephile 101 representation I, personally, need.
Meanwhile, Dannii completely misreads the song’s tone and screams “this Frillneck is fierce!”, which suggests she’s trying to get a reel ready to audition as a guest judge on Australia’s Drag Race. Some real Vanessa Hudgens energy here. Frillneck gives me life honey! Yassss!
Anyway, the clues mentioned clogs and Perfect played Mick Holland on Offspring. Hughsey guesses Jake Gyllenhaal because nothing fucking matters, and someone genuinely tweeted explaining that it’s unlikely he’s in the country because of COVID-19. I’m done.
Puppet
Finally, a show that captures the horrors of exercise! I’ll be here all week. :)
Watching Jigsaw’s father sing ‘Despacito’ was traumatising enough, but then they went and translated it into English — even Justin Bieber learnt the Spanish chorus. From this, we can only assume that Puppet is xenophobic, which is a difficult truth to swallow given that, by this point, it’s almost definitely current red Wiggle Simon Pryce. In one clue, he spray-painted the name James Michener, whose most famous novel was adapted into the musical South Pacific, which Pryce starred in.
The main reasons to believe it’s him, though, are the traumatised parents saying they’d recognise his voice anywhere. Parents driven to the brink by playing their child’s favourite Kidz Bop and Wiggles tracks on repeat would never forget the voice they’ve come to love via Stockholm Syndrome. It has to be him.
Simon Wiggle is Puppet. The clues about fitness, the power of four and “waking up”…plus that voice. Any parent knows it. Is haunted by it. #MaskedSingerAU
— siobhan duck (@siobhanduck) August 24, 2020
Sad Sophie Monk
Dragonfly was revealed this week after her ‘disco’ rendition of Kesha’s ‘Tik Tok’ (does Dannii not know what disco is? May we suggest she hit up her sister for an advance stream of Disco?), and it turns out that Sophie Monk fooled her best friend Jackie O in her quest to appear on every Australian reality TV show she can.
Her reveal isn’t surprising by any means, but it did have that rawness that this season’s lacked so far. Hearing her talk about how she hated singing even to herself after the industry tore her apart was genuinely affecting, and it’s clear that Monk has had to make a meme out of herself to survive in the industry.
But she started out as a teenager who just wanted to sing — it’s a shame that that core passion has been torn away from her, and sweet that she was able to enjoy the stage again when masked up.
She didn’t, uh, exactly do a great job of singing, but there’s something very sweet about Monk, and it’s nice that the show scratched an itch. It’ll be interesting to see if she follows it up with a single — debuted on Kyle and Jackie O, no doubt.
Tomorrow, Cactus, Kitten, Bushranger and Wizard perform, and we try and spot which backup dancer has COVID-19.
Masked Singer Australia is on Channel 10 each Monday and Tuesday at 7.30pm AEST, and available to stream on 10Play.
Jared Richards is a staff writer at Junkee, and on Twitter.