Someone’s Mashed Up Shannon Noll And Darude’s ‘Sandstorm’, And It’s Not Even My Birthday

Our new national anthem.

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Shannon Noll’s triumphant return to the centre of the Australian psyche has been the best cultural phenomenon to happen in this country since the Sydney Seal began his glorious, decades-long reign as NSW Premier back in 2015. Shannon Noll gigs attract thousands of eager punters on Facebook, the campaign to have him headline Groovin’ the Moo is building a healthy head of steam, and if there’s any justice at all in this wretched world, Nollsy will be announced as Australia’s representative to Eurovision this year.

I can’t stress enough how badly I want that to happen.

You know it’s the right thing to do.

While we wait for that beautiful day the way England waits for King Arthur to wake again in her hour of greatest need, the people desperately need some new Shannon Noll bangers to whack on the Discman in the meantime. They crave the hits. They cry out for them. Their copies of That’s What I’m Talking About have been played end-to-end so much, they go translucent in sunlight.

But wait — what’s this? What’s that haunting, hypnotic beat I hear; that intoxicating rhythm? Whose voice is that laid over it; whose irresistible siren song? So familiar, and yet so strange, like finding a faded photograph of an old lover between the pages of a dusty book?

Could it be?

Less than a day on from its inception, and with more than 27,000 plays to its name, this George Gurdjieff creation is on track to be Australia’s new national anthem by 2018, pending a referendum.

That is, unless this chronically underappreciated 2013 effort finally gets the recognition it deserves. Camuscamoo’s remix of ‘What About Me’ has existed on the internet for almost three years, alone, unloved.

It will have its day in the sun.

As if that weren’t enough, Perth DJ Adrian Franchina has just released an entire 20-minute long mixtape that begins by correcting the greatest wrong in Australian TV history: the result of the 2003 Australian Idol grand final. It is a fucking masterpiece.

There’s never been a more exciting time to be a Nollsy fan. This is the time. This is the day we’ve been waiting for.