Culture

The ‘Get Krack!n’ Kates Have Decoded Scott Morrison’s New Lockdown Policies

"Brumby's is still open, okay? It's Baker's Delight that is not open anymore."

Kate McLennan and Kate McCartney parody Scott Morrison's latest social distancing laws

Monday’s late-night press conference from Scott Morrison was a little confusing, as he instituted new social distancing practices to fight the spread of COVID-19 — including the restriction of funerals to 10 people while keeping essential services open, such as hairdressers, provided the cut takes less than thirty minutes. Thankfully, Kate McLennan and Kate McCartney are here to make sense of things.

The duo behind Get Krack!n and The Katering Show have posted a PSA after reportedly being “asked by the Australian government” to clarify the new rules, and establish what is and isn’t open.

Please spread it to help people learn that cinemas are not open, unless you are there to watch Happy Feet, with the sequel currently awaiting approval by cabinet. They also provided some info on bakeries, clarifying that different chains have different rules.

“Brumby’s is still open, okay? It’s Baker’s Delight that is not open anymore,” they say. “And if you want something from Brumby’s, you’re allowing to have a CheesyMite Scroll, up to six of them, but you cannot have a finger bun, for obvious reasons.”

As for those confused by Morrison’s pronunciation of ‘barre’, then have no fear: the Kates have cleared up the rules around exercising, too.

“No gyms! You have to exercise outside in pods of ten, inclusive of one live dolphin. The only exception to the rule is bar-re. Contrary to information, bar-re classes are still on.”

Watch the new rules below — or, if you’d prefer to hear from people who aren’t comedians (weird, but maybe fair), The Guardian‘s detailed what exactly the new rules involve. It’s a difficult time, but at least our Kates are here to lead.