J.K. Rowling Is Being Dunked On For Being Extremely J.K. Rowling Again
She says that Dumbledore and Grindelwald DEFINITELY fucked.
Hey, our revisionist queen J.K. Rowling is back to her old tricks, with some more un-asked for and unrepresented tea about the inner workings of the expanded Harry Potter universe! Stop it! No seriously. Stop.
This is not new — J.K is constantly revealing weird little facts and figures, to such an extent that it’s already an established meme — who could forget the time she canonised the fact that wizards used to shit on the floor?
It seems like a million years ago that she casually announced that Dumbledore was gay: a fact that has famously had absolutely no representation in the books or the films, making it less “canon” and more “secret authorised fan-fiction”.
Lately, a lot of chat has been about Dumbledore’s “relationship” with the dark wizard Grindelwald — and because nobody asked, J.K. Rowling has confirmed that there was a “sexual dimension” to it.
J.K. Rowling Confirms Some Characters in Her Books and Movies Are Gay Everywhere Except in the Books or the Movies https://t.co/Y5gcbMWNB9
— Eric D. Snider (@EricDSnider) March 16, 2019
Radio Times reports that on the special features for the upcoming Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald Blu-ray, Rowling said:
“Their relationship was incredibly intense. It was passionate, and it was a love relationship,” Rowling said during the ‘Distinctly Dumbledore’ feature. “But as happens in any relationship, gay or straight or whatever label we want to put on it, one never knows really what the other person is feeling. You can’t know, you can believe you know.”
Cool, great, whatever: I literally don’t care unless this is reflected, visually, on the screen. DUMBLEDORE MUST FUCK.
But, what IS enjoyable, is the latest and very funny meme dunking on J.K. Rowling.
Nobody:
JK Rowling: You know what else was nine and three quarters?
— Genki (@Genki_Rocket) March 17, 2019
No one:
JK Rowling: Grindrwald
— Maddie Whittle 🤷♀️ (@maddiewhittle) March 17, 2019
Nobody:
J.K. Rowling: Dumbledore ate the peach from Call Me By Your Name
— jon (@prasejeebus) March 17, 2019
nobody:
j.k. rowling: the “j.k.” stands for Juicy Knowledge
— jonny sun (@jonnysun) March 17, 2019
nobody:
jk rowling: dobby loves piss play
— tom (@tom_harlock) March 17, 2019
Look, there’s just a whole bunch and they’re all good!
Nobody:
J.K. Rowling: Dumbledore was a vers bottom, enjoys kissing, oral, rimming, open to couples/groups, DDF tested February 2019 (know your status!!!), looking for a relationship or right now depending on the vibe, poppers okay but you can keep your capital T to YOURSELF!
— Give Carly Rae Jepsen Pokémon Sword (@Neil_McNeil) March 17, 2019
Me: how about some lesbian representation in —
JK Rowling: Hermoine’s first vibrator was a wired bullet she got for free in a raffle at an L Word screening party in 2003 but then her ex got a job at Babeland and she used the discount to invest in a rechargeable Hitachi
— Mary Emily O'Hara (@MaryEmilyOHara) March 17, 2019
CHILD: I love Hagrid!
JK ROWLING: Sadly he died from autoerotic asphyxiation in a Bangkok hotel room— The Give Smart Guy (@BobbyBigWheel) March 17, 2019
No one:
J.K. Rowling: Voldemort has a 12-inch penis— Dana Schwartz (@DanaSchwartzzz) March 17, 2019
Nobody –
J.K Rowling – “Harry Potter is set in the same universe as Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo”— Fred Delicious (@Fred_Delicious) March 17, 2019
nobody:
literally the entire earth:
J.K Rowling: Professor Lupin prefers to fuck in wolf form
— Slazo (@Slazo) March 17, 2019
J.K. Rowling is breaking ground as the first author to write their own slash fiction.
— Maris Kreizman (@mariskreizman) March 17, 2019
Eventually J.K. Rowling will give an interview that includes showing off a picture she drew of Dumbledore’s penis.
— Josh Gondelman (@joshgondelman) March 17, 2019
Just remembered this video exists and based on recent events I'm starting to think it was made by J.K. Rowling pic.twitter.com/VN581C7MfZ
— jon (@prasejeebus) March 17, 2019