J.K. Rowling Says Wizards Used To Shit On The Floor At Hogwarts, Why Is She Like This?

This is not a joke.

Ron from Harry Potter

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No, this is not a joke. I wish it was, but it isn’t. Maybe you read that headline and clicked on this story thinking it was like an Onion article. But no. It’s real. According to Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling, before the invention of modern plumbing, witches and wizards at Hogwarts used to just shit on the floor.

This little nugget of information came courtesy of the Pottermore Twitter account. You know, Pottermore? That thing Rowling uses to slowly drain all the joy and wonder out of her beloved wizarding world?

According to the tweet, which hit the web just in time for National Trivia Day in the US, “before adopting Muggle plumbing methods in the eighteenth century, witches and wizards simply relieved themselves wherever they stood, and vanished the evidence”.

Wow, so magical!

Rowling expanded on this revelation in a new story on Pottermore about the origins of the Chamber of Secrets, writing that the installation of an elaborate plumbing system in the castle was “a rare instance of wizards copying Muggles”.

Unsurprisingly, this new piece of Harry Potter cannon didn’t exactly enchant Rowling’s fans.

Sorry guys, it’s part of the Harry Potter universe now. There’s no going back.