Culture

Everybody Is Absolutely Obsessed With A Giant Baby On TikTok

wish I never saw that video of that giant baby

by Patrick Lenton  21 April 2020
giant baby tiktok

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The internet today is asking whether or not everybody is repulsed by a video of a giant baby.

The answer is yes. Everybody is horrified by the giant baby: the long child, the bouncing spawn.

It may seem low, callous, and cruel for the internet to unite in its vehement disgust of a child, innocently bouncing on somebody. Are we that petty? Do we not have something better to do? Are we not adults with jobs and rich inner-emotional lives?

Sure. But watch this horrible baby.

I can’t explain it. I can’t justify it. Sometimes the online world unites in a positive way, a million minds connecting and pushing for something wholesome, something funny — trying to make the world a slightly better place.

But sometimes, we only unite in our shared bafflement, in our disgust — at a baby. It’s not great, but it is what it is.

Remember Knickers, the giant cow? We LOVED that huge cow. Why do we hate this baby?

If you go to the original poster’s account on TikTok, @kat.027, it’s absolutely full of videos of this baby. Its name is Gav, and it seems like a particularly jolly, healthy, absurdly huge baby. I feel bad for this lady and her giant baby, but also, if you put your baby on TikTok, there are consequences.

It’s so long. It looks like the owner of a gun shop in the TV show Fargo, yet also an innocent child.

Also, it seems to be slightly smoking, like it is uncomfortably hot and moist in a cold room.

There’s also the issue of the baby’s unholy glee. I don’t think I have ever taken such deeply selfish pleasure in anything, let alone bouncing.

The baby will never understand that it went viral for being terrifyingly enormous until it is an adult, when it will no longer be relevant. So, maybe it’s fine? I dunno. I can’t justify this!

Maybe by punching down on a stretched infant, we are showing that it is WE who are truly the repulsive giant babies?

A lot of people seem to think that perhaps the uncanny nature of the baby is because it is a toddler that looks like a baby. I don’t really understand what that means, and I don’t care to. It could be aged anywhere between 6 months old and 37.

Naturally, being repulsed by the giant baby has become a concept that people are keen to explore further.

It’s led to maybe 1000 Donald Trump “jokes”, which might be the only thing worse than this giant baby!

I think this giant baby is very powerful, and I for one, would like to welcome our new giant baby overlord.