Please Enjoy Conan O’Brien Absolutely Butchering Classic Aussie Phrases

Most Americans have a tendency to view Australia like a vaguely endearing, not-to-be-taken-very-serious curio, as though our whole country were a dog wearing a funny hat. Not so Conan O’Brien, however.

No, the beloved U.S. comedian and talk show host clearly takes us seriously enough to travel all the way down to our fair isle, camera crew in tow, in order to film an hour-long special named Conan Without Borders: Australia.

In the special, which was released in full yesterday, O’Brien did the usual touristy things that you’d expect: he donned an Akubra hat and a leather waistcoat, wandered past the Opera House looking sorta impressed, met up with some people who proceeded to tell him how absolutely everything in the country was primed and ready to murder him with poison, and generally had a great, fair dinkum Aussie time. He even got to hang out with the Sydney Swans.

But the highlight of the entire special came when O’Brien sat down with dialect coach Gabrielle Rogers to absolutely murder a slew of key Australian phrases.

But before the actual dialect coaching could begin, O’Brien first had to have a bunch of his deeply-held myths about Australia challenged. Namely, nobody calls prawns shrimps, and no bar serves Fosters.

“They made fools out of us,” O’Brien says, eyes wide, upon learning of the lie.

From there, the comedian tried his hand at some old ocker staples: “Acca Dacca”, a phrase that caused him significant physical pain to even spit out; “budgie smuggler”, which prompted him onto a tangent about penis size; “nuddy”, which he only had to hear to look like his soul was leaving his body; and “stubby” which he reckoned was probably a small erection.

Oh, and needless to say, O’Brien’s accent throughout is about as Australian as a can of Fosters — which is to say, not bloody at all.