Campbell Newman Launched His Book Today! It Has Not Gone Very Well.
It turns out gleefully gutting your state's arts sector has some consequences.
Eight months after being ousted as Queensland Premier and retiring from politics altogether, Campbell Newman has today launched his first biography, Can Do: Campbell Newman And The Challenge Of Reform. Written by former LNP member Gavin King, the book covers his personal life, career and fall from power in the same way as most political memoirs — it gives him a chance to talk himself up, clear his name on controversial policy decisions and shit-talk his opposition with little fear of reprisal.
As The Guardian has already pointed out, he also takes specific aim at the media, at one point calling them all a “pack of bastards”.
Shying away from the spotlight for the past few months to pursue a career in agricultural robotics (seriously), Newman was likely a little excited about today. Hype has been building about the book for the past week, with fairly favourable media coverage, and the launch was a great opportunity for him to reclaim his old stomping ground; to tell his story on his own terms.
Unfortunately, not everyone saw it that way. Over Newman’s three years in office as Premier he earned himself an impressive list of opponents. The arts community condemned his decision to scrap the Premier’s Literary Awards which had been running for more than a decade (amidst other cuts to the sector). Environmentalists rallied against his apparent climate denialism as he closed the Office of Climate Change and lagged on renewable alternatives. And many others took issue with the myriad similar cuts, blunders and outlandish policy decisions that came from his rule.
To these people, today was great for another reason: Newman was fair game to ridicule again, and they had plenty of new material to work with.
There are huge revelations in Campbell Newman's biography. What an extraordinary book. pic.twitter.com/YqY7I0ijVi
— Christopher Currie (@furioushorses) October 3, 2015
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His Launch Was Hosted At An Exclusive Men-Only Club
Despite the fact he spends a portion of the book expressing regret at not including more women in his cabinet, its official launch event was this morning hosted at Brisbane’s Tatersalls Club — one of the few remaining men-only venues in the country.
Though the club was widely derided earlier this year when the LNP chose to host an International Women’s Day event there, apparently Newman and King never got the message. Many of the nation’s leading politicians and media commentators were invited there to hear speeches and readings from the book, and the whole thing was ironically hosted by a group named the Australian Institute for Progress.
Great to see a full house at Campbell Newman's book launch. #CanDoLaunch #qldpol pic.twitter.com/0z2lxty0de
— Ben Riley (@BenRileyQLD) October 7, 2015
As you’ll note from that picture, some dodgy lady-folk did in fact manage to sneak into the room without being strong-armed by security or pelted with spitballs at any point throughout proceedings. This is because, according to the venue’s website, non-members “are welcome to attend the club as a function or event guest”. However, as Australian political reporter Sarah Elks inferred, that doesn’t necessarily mean much in practice.
Campbell Newman's book launch is at the Tattersalls mens-only club. Perhaps appropriately, a waiter asked me: "A drink, sir?" Sigh. #qldpol
— Sarah Elks (@sarahelks) October 7, 2015
To be fair, the club also makes note that women are actually always allowed on the premises (when they happen to be the partner or family member of a male member).
If you didn’t quite buy that, I’ve made a slightly more palatable version:
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The Launch Was Also Picketed By Union Members
These guys give zero shits that Newman wants to be a humble robot farmer. They don’t care he has no further say in the leasing of public assets like power generators. These obnoxious neon jokesters will picket him/any person who sets foot in the LNP fancy boyz clubhouse forever and frankly, I’m fine with that.
Some old mates at @CampbellNewman book launch @etuqldnt @abcnews #qldpol pic.twitter.com/tFDRLMUutC
— Chris O'Brien (@COBrienBris) October 7, 2015
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Bookshops Gleefully Refused To Stock It
Following on from UQ Press’ decision to not publish the memoir, a number of stores around the country have refused to stock the book on a matter of principle. Most vocal of these has been Brisbane’s Avid Reader. Owner Fiona Stager went on ABC Radio this morning to justify her decision and speak to the devastating effect Newman had on the arts sector while in power.
“We saw that as an attack on the writing, editing, book-publishing, book-selling community in Queensland,” she said. “A lot of my customers lost their jobs. They either worked in government or organisations which were defunded. It had a big impact on my first Christmas.”
“It seemed ironic that the first thing he did after losing was to turn around [and] be involved in the publication of a book … Booksellers have a long memory.”
With some media outlets reporting that the book had in fact been “banned”, Newman spoke out against the decision labeling it “anti-free speech” and “undemocratic”. Avid Reader have responded spectacularly to this and similar complaints all day.
Just to be clear, we haven't banned it. We're just not stocking it. Customers are welcome to order it. https://t.co/KmbIfZu4Ya
— Avid Reader Bookshop (@avidreader4101) October 6, 2015
.@feed_the_chooks @adambrereton We make so many similar decisions when presented with the 100s of books publishers show us each month.
— Avid Reader Bookshop (@avidreader4101) October 7, 2015
IT'S ? NOT ? BANNED ? https://t.co/DWS8lqIvwD
— Avid Reader Bookshop (@avidreader4101) October 7, 2015
BREAKING: Avid Reader also refuses to keep books published in 2016 in stock. Political correctness gone mad!
— Avid Reader Bookshop (@avidreader4101) October 7, 2015
Thankfully, others have taken up the cause and the much-loved local bookstore is now getting the best press it’s ever had.
i personally am outraged that @avidreader4101 will only sell me campbell newman’s book if i want to order it
— Bec Shaw (@Brocklesnitch) October 7, 2015
this is probably the right time to raise my complaint that the @avidreader4101 cafe doesn't sell KFC
— scott (@scottsues) October 7, 2015
@mckinnon_a my problem with avid reader is that they didn't fight in WW2
— Bhakthi (@bhakthi) October 7, 2015
Suck it, @ReadingsBooks! https://t.co/XFVklznEYq
— Avid Reader Bookshop (@avidreader4101) October 7, 2015
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No One Turned Up To The Stores That Sold It Anyway
CC: Avid Reader.
Subject: You made the right decision.
And there is Newman with his massive signing queue of zero at Angus and Robertson @avidreader4101 #toldYouSo pic.twitter.com/4ykd7A78pK
— Krissy Kneen (@krissykneen) October 6, 2015
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Sportsbet Don’t Have Much Faith In Him Either
Launching a special betting pool, Sportsbet’s odds on the whole situation are a bit grim. Though they’re paying $1.87 whether it clocks under or over 20,000 units, they’re offering $11 for it to beat The Latham Diaries and $51 if it topples John Howard’s Lazarus Rising.
Importantly, the book’s had some early signs of success, with the first print run easily selling its 2,500 copies in Australia and 1,000 in the US and UK. However, the betting agency is suggesting that’ll likely will be the extent of it. They have Newman at $21 to write a sequel; $51 for the story to be made into a film or TV series; $101 for the book to ironically win the Queensland Literary Awards; and an epic $501 if it takes out a Pulitzer.
Honestly, those last two figures should be way higher.
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Philip Ruddock Kind Of Stole His Thunder
After Herald Sun politics reporter Rob Harris jokingly made note of these odds on Twitter this afternoon, the former Chief Government Whip and current longest-serving member of the House of Representatives Philip Ruddock swooped in and literally stole the show.
@rharris334 I hope one day someone makes a Philip Ruddock tv series and it has the law and order theme song and intro
— Philip Ruddock (@philipruddockmp) October 7, 2015
I mean, with those few enticing words, Newman’s entire career and future creative output is entirely irrelevant. Right?
@rharris334 Russell Crowe of course
— Philip Ruddock (@philipruddockmp) October 7, 2015
I would watch the hell out of this.
@Omshadiddle @rharris334 No.Only the greatest actor could get it right.Russell it is.I imagine there would be a range of stars in it though
— Philip Ruddock (@philipruddockmp) October 7, 2015
I implore anyone with connections to an Australian TV producer to get on the phone immediately.
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The Entire Australian Lit Community Couldn’t Stop Laughing At His Pain
Welcome to the jungle, friend.
@krissykneen @beneltham @avidreader4101 actually….. pic.twitter.com/9Ns0oh1Drk
— Joanna Sharpe (@Justpeachijo) October 6, 2015
@krissykneen @beneltham @avidreader4101 oops…. pic.twitter.com/s0JQhwIDbm — Joanna Sharpe (@Justpeachijo) October 6, 2015
@avidreader4101 And after Krissy’s photo of his autograph queue … pic.twitter.com/S2Mwzg9Kuf
— Benjamin Law (@mrbenjaminlaw) October 7, 2015
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Feature image via Gavin King/Facebook.