The Liberal National Party’s Throwing Its International Women’s Day Event In A Men’s-Only Club

International Women’s Day is this weekend, and the nation’s gearing up to think briefly about equality and gender issues for a few minutes before getting back to watching I’m A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here. Earlier today Opposition Leader Bill Shorten called on Tony Abbott to hold a national conference addressing violence against women, and on Monday Q&A are having their first all-female, female-hosted episode, with Annabel Crabb in the driver’s seat and featuring personages like Germaine Greer, Julie Bishop and Queensland Young Australian of the Year Yassmin Abdel-Magied.

If you’re an institution not exactly known for championing women’s representation — like, for instance, a state political party that only has eight female representatives out of 42 — this is the time of year to stay home, turn your phone off and focus on working through the box set of Entourage you got for Christmas lest anyone remember you exist. If that was their strategy this year, Queensland’s Liberal National Party just threw themselves under the bus by deciding to throw their International Women’s Day bash at the Brisbane Tattersall’s Club — a place that doesn’t allow women to join.

The Brisbane Tattersall’s is one of Australia’s last men’s-only clubs, right up there with a Julien Blanc TED Talk, the patented Night Out With The Bois beloved by desperately sad, prematurely bald office bros everywhere, and your older brother’s treehouse. In the FAQ section of its website, Tattersall’s asks itself “How does a Private Membership Club for men remain relevant today?”, somehow without immediately arriving at the conclusion of “it doesn’t”. While women can physically enter the club, they either need to be signed in by a member or show their “Partners Card,” which can be obtained with a member’s (read: husband’s) permission or by asking Daddy very nicely for one.

By the way, this is actually a thing that’s still legal — back in 2009 the Melbourne Club, which was established in 1838 by the kind of people whose idea of a good time was saddling up and hunting poor people for sport, formally won the right to be exempt from anti-discrimination laws that would’ve impinged upon their precious No Girlz Allowed feels. Also, cooties.

Former LNP Speaker Fiona Simpson, who’s speaking at the event, told the Courier Mail that she was “less troubled by openly male-only clubs or openly women-only gyms than I am by areas of society that have a veneer of equality but which hide structural impediments or unconscious bias that block women from opportunities.” The existence of women’s-only gyms being vastly, vastly different from old white bloke’s clubs aside, Simpson’s broader point is almost fair enough — there are plenty of prominent people and organisations that pay lip-service to gender equality without actually doing anything. Feel that argument might’ve been made a little stronger by someone whose party isn’t headed up by a male Minister for Women, though.

Speaking of, Prime Minister Tony Abbott thinks this is a great idea, because of course he does. Trying to somehow spin this as evidence of the LNP’s commitment to gender equality, Abbott said the party was a “broad church” and ended up talking about trumpets and the walls of Jericho because he has been under a lot of stress lately.

Our Minister for Women re holding International Women’s Day event at men-only club. http://t.co/YWN5kRSBSp #auspol pic.twitter.com/ijSPvw5Vp3

— Glenn Murray (@divinewrite) March 4, 2015

Do yourself a favour and go read everything on the Tattersall’s website in the voice of a British lord with a severe case of bulldog jowls, liberally interspersed with exclamations of horror like “capital gains tax? By God!” Lots of fun.