The Real Hero Of ‘Brooklyn Nine-Nine’ Season 6 Is Captain Holt’s T-Shirts

"Clearly the pineapple is the slut."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 6 Captain Holt

Brooklyn Nine-Nine is back baby, for its highly anticipated season six. Bingpot! Toight! Noice! Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool — etc.

*Some minor spoilers in this article*

Episode one of season six is a beautiful example of why we love this show so much, and why we collectively rallied so hard to reverse its cancellation. Titled ‘Honeymoon’, it’s mostly about Jake and Amy’s titular honeymoon, in which their plans to “always be coconutting” is derailed by the surprise and coincidental appearance of Captain Holt.

We don’t often get Captain Holt playing the low status clown in this show, but it’s always a treat when it happens. And this is Captain Holt at his lowest — he’s just found that he’s been denied the job as police Commissioner, and a regressive, traditional straight white man was chosen instead. He’s in an existential spin, depressed and obsessive.

And to physically manifest this funk that he’s in, our favourite dignified, up-tight, rule-abiding captain-father spends the entire episode dressed in mildly crude novelty t-shirts.

“I bought a bundle of novelty shirts at a nearby gift shop — this one says ‘What’s Up, Beaches?’ instead of ‘bitches’, for humour reasons.”

“But you HATE humour,” answers Amy.

And it’s legitimately hilarious. It may be the best gag in the episode, although I did enjoy the depressing concept of drinking merlot out of a coconut.

“Don’t worry, I’m not listening to you, I’m just thinking about how the sea-bass is cold — but not as cold and cruel as the hands of fate which have thrust my entire life into darkness.”

“Down To Fiesta”

“Is the pineapple the slut, or is it calling someone else a slut?”

“Clearly the pineapple is the slut.”

In classic Brooklyn Nine-Nine style, it’s an absurd, silly gag that helps express a beautiful moment of character growth and expression. Holt isn’t just sad that he didn’t get a job — he’s tired that he’s lost another battle in a war he’s been fighting for his entire career. This isn’t just a low moment in personal advancement — he’s a gay, African-American cop who lost out to another indistinguishable white man.

It exemplifies that no matter how hard Holt has worked, it’s hard for things to actually change. Maybe things will never actually be “fixed” in his lifetime. Maybe he’ll never be commissioner.

It’s such a human reaction, to dwell and wallow, and it was important that they let Holt do that.

But also because Brooklyn Nine-Nine is a show that adores people trying their best, it ends with Holt getting out of his funk (mostly due to Amy cracking the shits) and going to war with the new commissioner, so he can get the changes he believes are necessary implemented.

But while this is all happening, he’s wearing stupid tourist clothes. God, I love this show!