Music

You Will Never Be Quite As Happy As This Woman In A Bacon Costume On Stage With Kevin Bacon

This is as good as it gets.

by Meg Watson  28 July 2015

Want more Junkee in your life? Sign up to our newsletter, and follow us on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook so you always know where to find us.

We’re all generally given a handful of truly blissful moments in this cold, uncertain world. A big hug from a parent at a time when you need it most. A sporadic adventure with friends. Watching your newborn child open their eyes for the first time while laying in your arms. A really, really good cake.

But nothing, no matter how extraordinary and meaningful and unique, will ever deliver an ecstasy quite like what this woman presumably felt while dancing on stage with Kevin Bacon while dressed as a giant strip of lean-cut streaky bacon.

You will never know the pleasure of standing between ’80s icon Kevin Bacon and his brother Michael Bacon as hand-picked bacon mascot of their confusingly real musical act The Bacon Brothers.

You will never dance between them while they play Kenny Loggins’ 1984 anthem ‘Footloose’ from Kevin Bacon’s classic film of the same name — adhoc bacon dress lightly flapping in the breeze.

You will never know the privilege of having Kevin Bacon reduce your Bacon number to one, by graciously imprinting his name onto your proud bacon apparel.

You will never get the rush that is Kevin Bacon, star of stage and screen, actively pining for you online.

You will never be found by Bacon.

You will never know joy this real and pure:

–

As consolation, please enjoy the knowledge that Kevin Bacon once starred in an egg commercial that was packed with confusing sexual innuendo:

Life is weird.

–

h/t Mashable.