TV

Winners, Losers, And “The End Of Racism”: Everything You Missed At The 2015 Emmys

Winners include Amy Schumer, Jon Stewart, and everyone watching Jon Hamm's butt as he climbed onto the stage.

With Andy Samberg taking to the hosting gig like the excitable labrador he so obviously is, the Emmy Awards proved really entertaining for another year. It was a big send-off to a bunch of your favourite shows, there were a number of well-deserved victories, passionate speeches, and big celebrity love-ins. And, right now, a great number of your favourite people are on the other side of the world getting very, very drunk together.

I like to imagine everyone’s just hovering around Amy Schumer while she does this.

But in case you didn’t have the time or money to obsess over that all day — WHY MUST FOXTEL HAVE EXCLUSIVE RIGHTS TO EVERYTHING — here’s a rundown of what you missed:

Andy Samberg Announced The End Of Racism. Yay!

Though he seemed a little nervous at times, the SNL expat and Brooklyn Nine-Nine star did a great job hitting the self-described “culturally relevant, but not too edgy” comedic sweet spot that hosting the Emmys requires. With the recognisable influence of Comedy Bang Bang‘s Scott Aukerman, who served as head writer, the show kicked off with a great musical skit about the pleasures of binge-watching (and also being white):

Continuing on with that theme, Samberg took time in opening monologue to note this was the most diverse group of nominees in Emmys history congratulating everyone to mass applause. “Racism is over,” he added, awkwardly. “Don’t fact check that.”

Speaking about problems in the entertainment industry, feminism got a similar treatment: “The wage gap between men and woman hired for major roles in Hollywood is still an issue,” he said. “Wait, I’m sorry I misread that. The age gap between men and woman hired for major roles in Hollywood is still an issue. Wait, I’m sorry I misread it again. It’s both! Still both. So crappy on two fronts.”

But all in all, Samberg covered the required topics: Amy Schumer is loved, True Detective is hated and Donald Trump just… is.

“Well, I’ve gotta say, sure, Donald Trump seems racist … what else?”

George RR Martin Got A Bunch Of Awards For His Birthday

In a strangely fated turn of events, today’s show was the 67th instalment of the Emmys as well as George RR Martin’s 67th birthday and boy, did he get some presents. For the first time in its six-season run, Game of Thrones took out the major award for Outstanding Drama up against stiff competition such as House of Cards, Orange Is The New Black and the final season of Mad Men.

This was really just the icing of the cake though as it had already won 11 of its total 24 nominations. The show now holds the record for the most awards in a single year, beating The West Wing‘s record from 2000. It also sent HBO to the top of the network awards tally, meaning he’s getting more than his fair share of champagne at the afterparty right now.

The success seems to really agree with him:

Fact: Parks And Recreation Has Never/Will Never Win An Emmy 

Finishing its final season in February this year, this year’s Emmys must have been pretty bittersweet for the Parks crew. Despite producing what was objectively one of the best shows of the past decade (I will fight anyone who says otherwise), they were once again snubbed losing both Oustanding Comedy and Outstanding Lead Actress to Veep.

Since premiering in 2009, Parks has been nominated for 13 Emmys and has never taken home the goods. Most devastating of all, Amy Poheler was nominated for her role as Leslie Knope every single year only to lose to Julia-Louis Dreyfus three times in a row.

Something tells me she saw it coming.

Andy Samberg Murdered Jerry

Apparently, Samberg could not be stopped in his hatred for Parks and Rec. He couldn’t even get through a Mad Men spoof without needlessly slaughtering Jim O’Heir:

The Emmys Spoiled Every Single Show

With Jon Stewart and David Letterman retiring and Stephen Colbert saying goodbye to The Colbert Report, the Emmys played a sentimental and touching farewell to all the hugely influential shows which have ended this year. Then, slightly carried away with the idea, they included footage of the final scenes of Sons of Anarchy, Mad Men, Nurse JackieTrue Blood, and Boardwalk Empire.

For some reason, people had a bit of a problem with that.

Jon Hamm Finally Won An Emmy And The Wait Was Totally Worth It

After being consecutively nominated for the past EIGHT YEARS, Jon Hamm finally bagged that Outstanding Lead Actor award for his role as Don Draper. Despite the show’s continuous success in the Outstanding Drama category, it’s actually the only Emmy that was ever awarded to a Mad Men actor.

Acknowledging the strength of his competitors like Kevin Spacey and Bob Odenkirk, a straight-faced Hamm announced, “There’s been a terrible mistake, clearly”.

“It’s impossible to be named with all of those extraordinary gentleman,” he said. “It’s impossible to be standing up here. It’s impossible to have done this show with this incredible cast.”

Also, he got up on the stage like this:

You’re welcome.

Coach Taylor’s Face

After Hamm’s win, Andy Samberg said he had been rooting for underdog Kyle Chandler. From the audience, he made this adorable little face and now I am dead.

coach

CLEAR EYES. FULL HEARTS.

Amy Schumer Nearly Cried, Then We Cried, And Then Everyone Cried

Scoring seven nominations after a truly ridiculous year of success with Inside Amy Schumer, your best mate took out a huge win for Outstanding Variety Sketch Show. Having come out on top of huge shows like SNL and Key & Peele amongst others, Schumer was close to tears when she made it to the stage.

“I almost made a stupid sex talk show that nobody wanted, and [head writer Jessi Klein] got drunk and told me that I had to follow my dreams and make my dream show. This show really fights for what we believe in.”

She then thanked everyone who had helped her through her career and gave a special shoutout to “the girl who gave me this, sort of a, smokey eye”. Everyone laughed along with the joke, but if her Before shot’s to be believed, that girl should really be getting her own award.

Jon Stewart Wants Back In Our Sweet Embrace

Jon Stewart seemed excited when The Daily Show won the Emmy for Oustanding Variety Talk Show. It featured every much-loved show in the genre. It was a huge accomplishment. He was clapping and dancing. Clapping and dancing is not a thing that Jon Stewart generally does.

Then he got on stage and things took a turn. “For everyone on television, I just wanna tell you, cling to it,” said the retired late-show great. “Cling to it like death. Cling to it like the Titanic. Cling to it like death. It is a barren wasteland out there.”

“Thank you very much,” he announced before leaving the stage one last time. “You will never have to see me again.”

How great that LL Cool J got to share in this historic moment.

It Was A Historic Year For Women Of Colour

Not only was this the most diverse year for nominees, the winners brought with them their own new landmarks. Becoming just the second person and the first woman in Emmys history to win awards in both the Drama and Comedy categories for the same character, Uzo Abuda from Orange Is The New Black made a passionate speech about her career and those that have helped her along the way.

Speaking of showrunner Jenji Kohan she said, “I love you so much. I appreciate you for putting belief back in my heart. Thank you for creating the show, for creating the platform.”

However, all this was soon slightly eclipsed by Viola Davis. Speaking as the first person of colour to ever win the Outstanding Lead Actress award, she delivered a beautiful speech about the diversity (or lack thereof) in the entertainment industry at large.

“‘In my mind, I see a line, and over that line I see green fields and lovely flowers and beautiful white women with their arms stretched out to me over that line, but I can’t seem to get there no-how. I can’t seem to get over that line.’ That was Harriet Tubman in the 1800s,” she said.

“Let me tell you something: The only thing that separates women of colour from anyone else is opportunity. You cannot win an Emmy for roles that are simply not there.”

There’s clearly much more to talk about on that one.

Transparent Made A Stand For Trans Rights

After a call to arms from showrunner Jill Soloway to rally against transgender discrimination, Jeffrey Tambor dedicated his Emmy win to the transgender community with a heartfelt speech.

“I had a teacher who used to say, ‘When you act, you have to act as if your life depends on it’,” he said. “And now I’ve been given the opportunity to act because people’s lives depend on it … I’d like to dedicate my performance and this award to the transgender community. Thank you for your patience. Thank you for your courage. Thank you for your stories. Thank you for our inspiration. Thank you for letting us be part of the change.”

Tracy Morgan Still Wants To Get People Pregnant

Totally eclipsing Game of Thrones’ long-awaited win, Tracy Morgan made a surprise appearance as the final presenter for the night after his car crash last year. After detailing his injuries which include a traumatic brain injury, he rolled out his familiar line and warned everyone he was about to get some women pregnant at the afterparty.

Hollywood is a strange and beautiful place :’)

See the full list of award-winners here.