While You Were Sleeping, Justin Bieber’s Baby Monkey Tried To Destroy Him

New James Blake clip:

In case you needed reminding that there’s a new James Blake album out tomorrow (Overgrown), here’s a film clip for ‘Voyeur’. Directed by Ferry Gouw, it takes you on a trippy adventure deep into the grooves of a CGI record, and the world contained therein.

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Jimmy Fallon takes over:

Following weeks of speculation that NBC was planning to shake up legendary late night flagship, The Tonight Show, and rumours of tension between the network and its host, Jay Leno (who’d been making barbed jokes about the show’s ratings on air), it’s finally been made official: the show will be moving from Los Angeles to its birthplace, New York City, and Jimmy Fallon of Late Night – the show which airs right after Leno’s – will be taking over.

This isn’t the first time Leno has been ousted, but in 2009 it came as a bit more of a shock: by his account, Leno went into work one day, was told to go home, and Conan O’Brien was slotted clumsily in his place where he remained for 8 months before he was replaced. By Jay Leno. (from New York Times)

The announcement last night came a couple days after Fallon and Leno addressed the rumours during the transition between their shows, via this awful duet:

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Justin Bieber bored of monkey. Next? 

After being quaranteened in Germany for pretty much the loooonnnnngest week eeeeever, Justin Bieber seems to have forgotted all about his 14-week-old capuchin monkey, Mally. Bieber bought Mally without paying any mind to either the regulations of owning a monkey (paperwork is BORING) or the wellbeing of the creature, who was far too young to be taken from his family. It is beyond us why Bieber’s people think that an under-developed baby who needs to be stopped from spitting on people should be looking after same.

A vet from the Munich clinic, Kurt Grabenwoeger, says that nobody has checked in on the monkey for a week. He also says Mally was taken “much too early” from his mother, when he was only nine weeks old. “These monkeys not only need to be with their mothers for at least a year, but they should also be surrounded by their family group. They are living creatures – not celebrity accessories like a handbag,” he told The Sun. “He is clearly traumatised at being taken away from his family. We could not get him to eat until we gave him the cuddly toy he was clinging to when he was delivered to us. This obviously acts as a kind of surrogate parent. He keeps calling a lot for company – without his toy he won’t eat at all.”

To add insult to injury, a poster of Bieber has been put up in Mally’s cage. Mally is currently doing what he can to destroy it, but his tiny adorable fingers don’t work so well just yet.

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Well we knew it would come to a head at some point: 

After a worried resident called the local police of Putnam County in Tennessee to notify them of a man screaming for help in the neighbourhood, two deputies were sent down to investigate, and all they found was a lousy meme.

“We could hear what appeared to be a man screaming for help in the direction of a residence on Jackson Passage north of Edwards Lane,” Deputy Will Page wrote in the official report. “It was actually coming from a goat that was tied to a fence.” Don’t say we didn’t warn you.  (via Gawker)