Politics

Lord Buckethead, Mr Fishfinger And Elmo May Be The Real Winners Of The UK Election

by Chris Woods  9 June 2017
UK election

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This is an historic day for the UK.

Though the parliament is now officially hung, throwing everyone into a bit of a tailspin, Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn has demonstrated an ability to energise young voters, and PM Theresa May’s failure to obtain a seemingly-assured majority is undoubtedly going to have huge ramifications both in the UK and, hopefully, here in Australia.

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In better news for May, she at least took her seat of Maidenhead. With 37,718 votes (65 percent of the total), her closest rival was Labour candidate Pat McDonald, on 11,261. But… even there, she seems to have been upstaged by three massive goddamn weirdos.

First up, there is Lord Buckethead, a mysterious candidate with some kind of pail for a face?

Lord Buckethead describes himself as an “intergalactic space lord, running to be an independent Member of Parliament for Maidenhead”. “[I] enjoy planet-conquering, dominating inferior species, and Lovejoy,” he said.

Somehow, this is also not the first time this strange, unnamed-man has run.

Lord Buckethead fancies himself something of a comedian on Twitter and is followed by Australian Greens Senator Scott Ludlam. Make of that what you will.

Next up, there is Elmo aka the Fuzzy Red Monster aka Independent candidate Bobby Smith.

Elmo only scored three votes but, you know, points for trying.

While Buckethead came closest out of the gang to beating the PM (he received 249 votes), best name absolutely has to go to the third and final freak: Howling “Laud” Hope. He is joint leader of the Monster Raving Loony Party.

He received 119 votes.

Look at this Adonis, facing of with his hated, awkward rival below.

For better or worse, I don’t think this is the last we’ve heard of either of those two, with unconfirmed rumours emerging that they’re now working on a coalition.

And never fear, all you Corbynites out there: Jazza, who easily won Islington North with 40,086 votes (73 percent) got his own bizarre rival from the Monster Raving Loony Party in the form of Knigel Knapp (106 votes!?). He is the strapping, terrifying young man in yellow below:

I don’t know anything about this Knigel Knapp fellow, but I think I hate him.

Finally, there is Mr Fishfinger, who, at 309 votes in the seat of Westmorland & Lonsdale, apparently had the most palatable policies (eh? eh??) of all the freaks.

Here he is looking grumpy af.

Seriously, god bless all of you beautiful weirdos.

You make these terrifying times that much nicer.