Culture

The US Is Having An Argument About Guacamole So Intense That The President Got Involved

What a time to be alive.

by Meg Watson  2 July 2015

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The last few months have seen some incredibly complex issues come to the fore in American public debate. In the wake of countless incidents of police brutality, riots and unrest, the nation are trying to find a way to rid themselves of racial prejudice and find new ways to counter systemic inequality. Other terrible events have led some to re-evaluate the meaning of one of their flags and the purpose of their gun laws; and this past weekend, the Supreme Court ushered in marriage equality sparking an unprecedented celebration and discussion of LBGT civil rights.

Today, they moved on to guacamole. But not just any guacamole; this was guac that had fucking peas in it.

In the above article, beloved food writer of The New York Times Melissa Clark suggested that adding half a cup of pureed fresh English peas to guacamole may be a novel twist on the classic dish. “The peas add intense sweetness and a chunky texture to the dip, making it more substantial on the chip,” she wrote. “They also intensify the colour of the green avocado — and help the guacamole stay that way.”

She was then met with the seething scorn of the entire country because hey, the US may have a few problems — including but not limited to: race relations, an inadequate healthcare system, rampant consumerism, gun control, and the fact Donald Trump is running for President — but they ain’t no dirty pea-flavoured guac-lovin’ sonso’bitches.

The debate became all-encompassing and any reference to the NYT itself soon became unnecessary.

Things really escalated.

Then, because life is ridiculous and the internet rules us all, President Obama was also eventually roped in as well. Despite the fact he had originally set out to have a Twitter Q&A about the Affordable Care Act which ensures life-saving medical treatment for millions of Americans, he was immediately faced with a question about #guacgate; a question which came from the political editor of a US news publication.

The writer of the original piece has since been trying to tell people that it’s actually not even her recipe and it’s been floating around for years, but no one really seems to care. On this, if nothing else, the nation is totally united.