The Ten Best Jokes On Ricky Nixon’s Facebook Page

Have you heard of Chicken Train? Chicken Train is the heartwarming story of Australia’s biggest testicle – an unrepentant sleazebag who ruined his marriage and his AFL career by doing cocaine in his underwear with a 17-year-old, and then decided to rebuild it all by turning to stand-up comedy.

That testicle’s name is Ricky Nixon, and this is his story.

Leaving behind everything it cost your neural capacities to watch that video, as far as car crash viewing goes the Ricky Nixon stand-up story is pretty hard to beat. I mean, stand-up comedy? Of all things? He literally is that desperately unfunny guy who tells desperately unfunny jokes which caused his desperately unfunny friends to tell him he should try stand-up. At which point he decides to use the name ‘Chicken Train’. Toot Toot.

This week I was directed to Ricky Nixon’s Facebook page. Where he’s trialling material. All typed like he’s a 13-year-old boy wrestling with text messaging in 2002. To quote Stephen K. Amos, “Thank you, comedy gods.”

Here’s ten of the Chicken Train’s best:

1. Ricky shows off his ability to read the Adult’s Only Big Book of Jokes.

2. He appears to call whoever he’s sleeping with at the time “The Cleaner”. Yes, yes he does.

3. I do wonder why she left him.

4. I do wonder why she’s with him.

5.  Topical Cyclone Ricky.

 

6. This one works best if you imagine Ricky doing the voice while pulling the corners of his eyes back real tight.

7. Oh snap! More than just a cleaner.

8. At least he’s learning how to laugh again.

9. Here’s something to consider: he will probably read this in front of a crowd and at least some of them will laugh.

10. And just to prove he can make you think…

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Luke Ryan is a Melbourne-based freelance writer and comedian. He is currently working on his first book, has written for The Age, Smith Journal, The Lifted Brow, TheVine, Crikey, Kill Your Darlings and many more.

Image via Ricky Nixon’s FB Page.