So There You Go, Justin Bieber Finally Got Arrested

Following an eventful week or so in which: 1) his boy Lil Za took a fall for cocaine possession, 2) secret (and explicit) texts from his former girl Selena Gomez were leaked online, and 3) his mum made a public plea to the internet to “pray for her son“, the inevitable has happened: Justin Bieber’s been arrested (by real cops and everything, not those Canadian ones on horse) for drag racing, driving under the influence, and resisting arrest.

It all happened in Miami overnight. Local cops reported that Bieber’s crew (and, uh, perhaps even his dad) blocked traffic as the popstar raced his bright yellow Lamborghini Gallardo down a suburban street (reportedly at 60mph in a 30mph school zone). Police stopped him at 4:09am, and found him “flushed, in a stupor, smelling of alcohol and incoherent”. According to the police report, Biebs was “uncooperative and kept fumbling his hands in his pockets”, yelling “Why the f**k are you doing this?”, which will be a great title for his next hit R&B song. Sources also say that Bieber told the cops he’d “had a beer, was under the influence of antidepressants and had been smoking marijuana all day,” which is undoubtedly a terrible thing to tell cops.

He’s already outta those oranges, though: Biebs appeared before a judge via webcam earlier today, where his bail was set at $2500 (or, as he calls it, “stripper tips”). His friend, an R&B singer named Khalil Sharief — who, just half-an-hour before the arrest, had Instagrammed a pic of Biebs in his Lambo with some model they’d just picked up at a club — was also arrested and charged with DUI, and his bond was set at $1,000.

So there it is. Bieber’s achieved his full potential (or something); it’s a memorable day. If reading police reports is something you’re into, you can get all the lurid details here. Or, if you’re around 11-years old, you can join the already burgeoning ‘Free Bieber Movement‘.