Politics

Pauline Hanson Just Picked A Fight With A Woke 9-Year-Old, And She’s Already Losing

Spoiler: The kid is winning.

Pauline Hanson has done it again. Done what, you ask? Oh, just picked a fight with someone via unscripted Facebook video, only to pretty momentously embarrass herself. This time, that someone is a woke nine-year-old, and it’s fair to say the nine-year-old is winning.

You may have seen the news this morning about a nine-year old girl from Brisbane called Harper Nielsen, who was given detention for refusing to stand for the national anthem at her school. Her reasoning was pretty solid, too — she told the ABC she thinks the song is wrong because “when it says ‘we are young’ it completely disregards the Indigenous Australians who were here before us for over 50,000 years”.

“When it was originally written, Advance Australia Fair meant advance the white people of Australia.”

Now, several hours later, enter Pauline Hanson. Obviously, this is the kind of story Pauline Hanson couldn’t resist weighing in on, and she did so with an apparently improvised video posted to social media. Viewing it is like watching some kind of bizarre patriotic timelapse where Hanson slowly entangles herself in her own logic and becomes angrier and angrier when she can’t escape. Something like that, anyway.

The video also features what is perhaps the most Pauline Hanson line of all time: “What the hell is going on? I’m angry about this.”

“The whole fact is, there are rules in this country,” Hanson begins, before immediately ditching this line of reasoning as it becomes clear to her that actually, there is no rule requiring people to vacate a seat for the national anthem. She then has a crack at responding to her opponent’s actual argument, which doesn’t go well either. “And she says, ‘well it’s not including Aboriginals, they were here 50,000 years ago, we’re not young and free. What about the Aboriginals?’ Well, it’s not about that,” she says, efficiently proving the nine-year old’s point.

Still, Hanson doesn’t give up, calling the kid “brainwashed” and letting us know that “I tell you what, I’d give her a kick up the backside”. Because child abuse is somehow less offensive than sitting down for the national anthem.

“I’ve got no problems with standing your ground, and you know I do. But we’re talking about a child who has no idea of what is history, what’s happening, what we should do, and what we need to do, to pull everyone together. Regardless of their cultural background, we are all Australians. This is divisive.” Hanson then follows up with some divisiveness of her own, criticising “this transgender sex stuff, this Safe Schools problem”, and other examples of apparent “brainwashing” in schools. It’s also worth remembering that Hanson kicked off her Parliamentary career by claiming Australia was being “swamped by Asians”, frequently attacks Muslims, kids with disabilities, and other minorities, and is basically famous for her own divisiveness.

At this point, Hanson’s already soundly lost her fight with the nine-year-old, but she’s got one last trick up her sleeve. She concludes by namedropping the only two Indigenous Australians she can think of, Cathy Freeman and Warren Mundine, and using their example to argue that “there’s great, y’know, people of different cultural backgrounds. Aboriginality. They want to see inclusiveness.”

“But this kid has had it down the wrong path, and I blame her parents for it, for encouraging this. No, take her out of the school.”

If your afternoon could really use a pick-me-up, you can watch the video of Hanson owning herself here: