Culture

Pass It On: Shia LaBeouf Is The Voice Of The Nation In Bill Shorten’s Speech For Marriage Equality

"DO IT. JUST DO IT."

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Yesterday, I dutifully examined the reception of Bill Shorten’s speech about marriage equality and the political roadblocks in his way to passing a bill. Today, Simon Copland suggested the move was nothing more than a hollow publicity stunt, penning more than 1,000 words to justify his case. Now, it’s clear the situation could have been best summed up by the content of a 50-second art school project/surprisingly effective inspirational video starring beloved child actor-turned-reigning Lord Of Wankdom Shia LaBeouf.

I sincerely apologise, and thank YouTube Hits for showing me the error of my ways.

Also, let’s all just take a moment to acknowledge the fact we’re now at a point where most Australians can legitimately empathise with the deranged screams of a guy who’s inspired (and endorsed) elaborate musical numbers about eating human flesh.

Shit’s bleak.