Culture

Parliament House’s Cleaners Have Given Joe Hockey A Giant Toilet Brush After The Government Cut Their Pay

He's probably already got one, but it's the thought that counts.

by Alex McKinnon  15 June 2015

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Everyone who isn’t a property investor or a mining company knows the government’s all-time favourite activity is to cut stuff — health and education funding, the social safety net, protections for journalists reporting on inconvenient topics, you name it — but today their enthusiasm backfired spectacularly as Parliament House’s cleaners announced a 24-hour strike over cuts to their pay and conditions.

Supported by union United Voice, the cleaners of the nation’s centre of power have been unhappy ever since the government ditched the Commonwealth Cleaning Services Guidelines last year, resulting in a pay cut of over $6,800 a year. Rather than take it lying down, the cleaners — who take care of every inch of Parliament House, including both chambers of debate and politician’s offices — have decided to down rubber gloves for the day, leaving the government to quite literally roll around in its own filth and slowly realise an army of house elves doesn’t silently follow them around magically making their trash disappear.

The cleaners held a rally out the front of Parliament House this morning demanding the Guidelines be reinstated, and happily, pretty much everyone who wasn’t a government politician showed up to support them; everyone from Penny Wong to Jacqui Lambie turned out, giving the event as much of a party atmosphere as you can get in front of Parliament House at nine on a winter’s morning.

But the highlight of the day came with the awarding of the Golden Toilet Brush Award to the politician who’s done the most to undermine cleaner’s rights. Last year’s winner, surprise surprise, was Tony Abbott, but this year Joe Hockey took the hallowed gong for being a cartoon stereotype of an old-timey capitalist come to life. 

In case you don’t feel good enough about this already, here are a series of photos of a federal Senator wielding a giant golden toilet brush like Gregor Clegane from Game of Thrones.

All I want out of life at this moment is for Glenn Lazarus to go on a one-man rampage through Parliament House with that thing, breaking down doors and sending security personnel flying with mighty sweeps of his toilet brush halberd.

“ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED.”

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Feature image via United Voice/Twitter.