You Can Name Melbourne’s New Train Stations, But Station McStationface Has Been Ruled Out

They’re learning. They’re finally learning.

On Sunday, Victorian Premier Daniel Andrews announced that the public would be given the chance to name Melbourne’s five new underground train stations, which are set to open in 2026. Unfortunately, one name has already been ruled out.

“This is not a stunt,” Andrews wrote on Facebook. “It’s happening. You get to choose the names for our five new Metro Tunnel stations.”

“Give us your suggestions now – and try to come up with something more original than Station McStationface,” he added.

Station McStationface is a reference to Boaty McBoatface, the name selected by the British public for a $380 million arctic research vessel. The organisers of that naming competition ultimately defied the will of the people and named the ship RSS David Attenborough instead.

Later that year, the UK voted for Brexit. Are the two events connected? You tell me.

In any case, Andrews is obviously trying to avoid a similar debacle, telling The Age that there will be a “vetting committee” to ensure only “sensible” names are considered.

For what it’s worth, the Brits did end up bestowing the name Boaty on an unmanned submarine. So maybe if we petition Andrews extra hard we might at least get a Platform McPlatformface, or something.

The five stations that make up the $11 billion Melbourne Metro Tunnel will be built under Arden Street in North Melbourne, Parkville, the northern and southern ends of Swanston Street in the CBD, and the Domain interchange.

Victorian residents can submit their ideas for station names at metrotunnel.vic.gov.au. Submissions close October 22.