Music

Madonna Fell Down The Stairs (And Other Things That Happened At The 2015 Brit Awards)

by Courtney Fry  26 February 2015

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The 35th annual Brit Awards happened at the London O2 auditorium this morning Australian time, and it was packed full of the finest musicians, celebrities, and meme-worthy moments a cold island full of excessively polite people has to offer. The Brit Awards are roughly the English versino of the ARIAs, which puts them higher than the ARIAS on the international awards calendar, but below almost everything American except the Tonys. This year offered a good few reasons to tune in, for anyone who did. Here are the highlights.

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Like A Baby Horse, Walkin’ For The Very First Time

Madonna’s costume designers really should have consulted someone when they thought that an Armani cape was going to work for her performance. Mid-way through her elaborate performance of ‘Living For Love’, where she was surrounded by half-naked men wearing bull horns and masks, Madonna’s cape was to be pulled off in one swift movement.

Unfortunately someone had tied it on too tight and instead the 56-year-old went flying off her podium, making for a really mesmerising Vine loop.

Like a true professional, Madonna took it all in her stride, finished the song, and later posted on Instagram that she was okay.

Madonna’s lesson for today:

Edna Mode knows best.

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Kanye West Performed, But You Probably Didn’t Hear It

Kanye West debuted a brand new track as well, but viewers could barely tell, because it was so heavily censored. In true Yeezy fashion, the performance of ‘All Day’ was littered with swears, and UK broadcaster ITV went into censoring overdrive. What made everyone mad, however, was that half of the song had the audio muted, so it just looked like Kanye and his cluster of flamethrower-sporting friends were bobbing along to nothing but the quiet chatter of the audience, and shouting “all day!” every now and again.

The uncensored, and more enjoyable, version of West’s performance is much better.

In the middle of Kanye’s performance, the cameras quickly flicked to Lionel Ritchie who seemed to be having some kind of philosophical debate going on in his mind, judging from the look on his face.

Don’t worry Lionel, we look like this when there’s rapping and fire and people falling over everywhere too.

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Mark Ronson Won British Single Of The Year, Thanked The Funk Out Of James Brown

Ronson took home his second-ever Brit Award for his song ‘Uptown Funk’ with Bruno Mars – who he said was “the world’s most talented Hawaiian”. Ronson went on to thank Lionel Ritchie, who presented the award, James Brown, and basically the entire genre of funk.

“People like Lionel Ritchie, and The Commodores, and Earth, Wind and Fire…and the people that invented this genre of funk,” said Ronson. “And James Brown, that made it possible for us to make this song. So thank you so much. This is incredible.”

‘Uptown Funk’ was Ronson’s first song to hit number one in the UK charts, and spent a huge seven non-consecutive weeks at the top since its release. ‘Uptown Funk’ beat nine other tracks, including songs from Ed Sheeran, Sam Smith, and Calvin Harris to take out one of the most coveted awards of the night.

Mark Ronson in his very funky suit. (via YouTube)

Taylor Swift Was There; Dancing Awkwardly, Winning Hearts and Awards

It really wouldn’t be an awards ceremony without Taylor Swift’s awkward dancing to one of the live acts. Swifty opened the Brit Awards with a performance of her own ‘Blank Space’, with a bunch of really talented backup dancers who popped and locked and breakdanced around her as she strutted across the stage with all the sass in the world.

[embed_media]http://youtu.be/NsFhmRLfKj4[/embed_media]

Later, Swifty was spotted dancing super awkwardly next to Kim Kardashian during Kanye West’s performance, and then picked up the gong for Best International Female Artist. You do you, Tay Tay.

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You can watch the Brit Awards this evening on UKTV at 8.30pm.