Lindsay Lohan Used To Spend All Her Time Stalking James Franco, According To James Franco
It's a tragic tale of unrequited love.
During an interview with Los Angeles Magazine a few weeks ago, James Franco said that Lindsay Lohan “told lies about me” when she included his name on her infamous sex list. Unfortunately for Franco, nobody really believed him, probably ’cause he’d just spent the week creeping on teenagers on Instagram. Plus, c’mon — Lindsay Lohan wouldn’t tell a lie!
Overnight, the guy tortured himself further by appearing on Howard Stern’s radio show. Needless to say, the conversation pretty much instantly turned to Lindsay’s list, ’cause people like to know about these kinda things. Franco relented a bit, revealing that he had made out with her once, but then set about putting the rumours to bed, once and for all.
“Alright, we maybe kissed… It was lame. This is meaningless in my life,” the actor told Stern, admitting it had happened years ago, when Lindsay was still a teenager (oh boy, not this again). “When we made out, it was so long ago… I was, like, a nice guy. Like, okay, the kiss is enough. It was also sort of like, ‘What the hell am I doing?’ She was young.”
But then, he started seeing her everywhere.
“I had this period where I’d go to clubs and she was always there,” he continued. “It wasn’t like, ‘Oh, I gotta escape Lindsay’, although she would have these periods where she’d… I don’t know if she was using something or whatever, but she would just turn horrible. It was like the bad Lindsay, and you just had to get away.”
In what would be the premise for the most amazing sitcom, the two eventually became neighbours while living at LA’s Chateau Marmont. And shit somehow got weirder.
“We were at this hotel during a very dark period of her history,” Franco added, like a boy scout telling a ghost story around a campfire. “It seemed pretty damn clear that she liked me. I’d come home late to the hotel and she’d come find me. I knew which room she was in and I’d see through the window like, “Oh there’s another party at Lindsay’s…”, and she would come out to the pool area and find me. She even broke into my room one time because she was so at home there, I guess, that they just gave her the key. And so, 3 in the morning, I was on the couch and I open my eyes, and there’s Lindsay in my room at 3am, and it’s like, ‘Okay, what do I do now?’ I read her a story.”
The best part of this tale is obviously, “I read her a story.” C’mon, that’s just some sorta Franco euphemism, right? One of his scholarly turns of phrase. Thankfully, he spelled it out, with a final exasperated rant.
“What I hate here is it just sounds like I’m in such denial, but I will swear on my mother’s life that I never had sex with her!”, Franco yelled, indignant. “I guess you could say we were friends, although I hesitate to say that, because every time I brought her back into my life or tried to be nice, it just turned out very lame and stupid.”
Someone should turn this whole story into a made-for-television movie. It would be titled Lame And Stupid: The Lindsay Lohan & James Franco Story. It would be a ratings bonanza.