Johnny Depp Has Spectacularly Dragged Barnaby Joyce Again On ‘Kimmel’
"He looks somehow, like, inbred with a tomato."
It’s my sincere hope that Johnny Depp and Barnaby Joyce never, ever stop feuding with one another. In 20 years, I want to see news reports about Depp gluing cutouts of Barnaby’s face onto the wheels of his mobility scooter. I want Depp on the hustings in New England wearing a Tony Windsor t-shirt. I want Joyce constantly trying and failing, Wile E Coyote style, to catch and eat Pistol and Boo.
In the meantime, though, I’ll settle for Depp calling Joyce an “inbred tomato” who “might explode” on late-night American TV. One day soon the Americans are going to learn that we promoted Joyce to Deputy Prime Minister after he threatened to kill a celebrity’s dogs, and things will really get interesting.
This can only end one way: Barnaby has to kill the dogs. It’s the one way he can restore his honour. Kimmel won’t be laughing then.