Music

11 Songs That Prove The Hottest 100 Wasn’t Better In The ’90s

'Pretty Fly For A White Guy', anyone?

hottest 100

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If you have a few grey hairs and recognise the names Micheal Tunn, The Sandman and Flacco you’re pretty much required to respond to the Hottest 100 countdown by rolling your eyes, scoffing at the so called music on the list and then reminiscing about how much better things were back in the glorious days of the ’90s.

But was the Hottest 100 really such a pure celebration of music back then? Was it really alternative music back when “alternative music” was actually a phrase that people used?

Before you go complaining about Drake, Charli XCX and other stuff on the list, it’s worth remembering that the Hottest 100 has also featured songs by acclaimed indie favourites like East 17, Ace of Base, Madonna, Macy Gray and TLC’s ‘Waterfalls’.

Somehow Limp Bizkit’s Nookie’ came in at #8 in 1999 and still wasn’t the worst song in the top 10. And let’s not forget the seemingly endless series of novelty drug songs, from The Shamen’s ‘Ebeneezer Goode’ and Mindless Drug Hoover’s ‘The Reefer Song’ to Dash Rip Rock’s ‘(Let’s Go) Smoke Some Pot’ and Lard’s ‘I Wanna Be A Drug-Sniffing Dog’.


Ace of Base — ‘All That She Wants’

Placed: #29 in 1993

The Swedish pop smash spent three weeks at the top of the ARIA chart in 1993, provoking a national debate about single mothers luring unsuspecting men into a one night stands for the sole purpose of conception.

It also struck a chord with triple j listeners coming in at #29 on the first ever Hottest 100 countdown placing well above The Smashing Pumpkins’ ‘Cherub Rock’, Faith No More’s ‘Easy’ and Cypress Hill’s ‘Insane In The Brain’.


East 17 — ‘Deep’
Placed: #78 in 1993

Possibly the only song by a boy band to ever crack into a Hottest 100 countdown, ‘Deep’ by East 17 managed a respectable #78 in 1993.

This gem doesn’t get a lot of airplay on triple j anymore, but don’t be surprised if Chet Faker chooses this as his next Like a Version cover. “Turn the lights low and put some music on/ Let our bodies sing swing to the soft song/ I feel ya heat, it’s turning me on / I wanna feel ya all night long…”


The Vaughans — ‘Who Farted?’
Placed #54 in 1995

It has been over two decades since this timeless anthem hit #54 on the Hottest 100 countdown and we’re still no closer to answering the titular question. It’s either the butler or that strange bloke who hosts the graveyard shift on Tuesday mornings.


N-Trance — ‘Stayin’ Alive’
Placed: #64 in 1995

A disco hit from 1977 remixed into some sort of evil Eurodance nightmare was just what triple j listeners wanted to hear. This evidence of the devil’s presence on earth landed at #64 in 1995, just beating Shaggy’s mid-’90s alt-rock anthem ‘Boombastic’.


Madison Avenue — ‘Don’t Call Me Baby’
Placed: #22 in 1999

‘Don’t Call Me Baby’ powered it’s way up the Hottest 100 in 1999 winning enough votes to secure a spot towards the top end of the list at #22.

To be kinda fair to the old triple j fans who voted for this candy concoction back in the dying days of the last millennium, they did at least submit their ballots before that infamous performance at the 2000 ARIA awards.


Chumbawamba — ‘Tubthumping’
Placed: #3 in 1997

1997 was the year that Radiohead released OK Computer, Bjork released Homogenic, Daft Punk dropped their debut and Spiritualized gave the world their masterpiece Ladies and Gentlemen We Are Floating in Space.

It’s also the year that triple j listeners decided that ‘Tubthumping’ was freaking amazing and every Irish pub on earth found an anthem to play just before calling last drinks. Chumbawamba might be the world’s favourite anarco-punk collective, but that’s not really a decent enough excuse to explain how why ‘Tubthumping’ came third in the 1997 Hottest 100.


Shaggy — ‘Boombastic’
Placed: #65 in 1995

According to a new law, every time someone complains about hearing Drake on triple j they have to listen to Shaggy singing about being a Mr Boombastic luvaluva and write an essay about how it came in at #65 on the 1995 Hottest 100 countdown.


Frank Bennett — ‘Creep’
Placed: #95 in 1996

Apparently there were a lot of nannas listening to triple j back in 1996 when Frank Bennett crooned his way onto the Hottest 100 with this hilarious parody version of that song Radiohead don’t really like to play live.

And if you need another reminder about the failings of the countdown, just remember that the original version of ‘Creep’ missed out on the top place on the inaugural Hottest 100 because of a song by acclaimed musician and noted Bill Hicks impersonator Dennis fucking Leary.


Peter Helliar — ‘Bevan: The Musical’
Placed: #35 in 1999

It’s impossible to describe the musical genius of ‘Bevan: The Musical’. Just hit play and remember that this undeniable masterpiece came in at #35 on the Hottest 100 countdown in 1999.


Technohead — ‘I Wanna Be A Hippy’
Placed: #48 in 1995

As that uncle who seems to only wear faded t-shirts and busted up Converse will reminds you every Christmas all the new music on the radio is crap.

It’s not like back in the ’90s when music was real. Back then it was pure. It had depth, meaning and a rage that refused to conform to the bullshit of the mainstream. It had classic anthems like Technohead’s ‘I Wanna Be A Hippy’ — a song that triple j listeners boldly declared was the 48th best song of 1995.


#11. The Offspring — ‘Pretty Fly (For a White Guy)’
Placed: #1 in 1998

No matter how much you hate Macklemore, this inexplicable 1998 hit is still the worst thing to ever top a Hottest 100 countdown.

It might be the worst thing to ever feature in a Hottest 100 countdown. Some reputable scientists have even argued that it’s the worst thing ever recorded. Pretty much any song released last year could top the Hottest 100 on Australia Day and it would still be better than this.

This article originally appeared on FasterLouder.