Whether you realise it or not, your favourite fast food says a lot about your personality.

What kind of trash food do you turn to when you’re not worried about what you put in your body? We don’t mean the food you choose when you go out for a quick bite to eat with friends, but when you shame-eat alone in our bedroom.

Whatever you go to, here’s what that choice tells the world about you.

#1 Maccas

You don’t have fast food often but when you do, you’re going OG. In your opinion, Maccas has everything you could ever need, so why fuck around with other establishments? You’ve got your nuggs, your cheeseburger, your thickshake, your crispy lil’ fries.

You know what you’re gonna get. There’s no surprises, and you like it that way. This is also your approach to pretty much everything in your life. A word of advice? Embrace change, you McChicken-loving fiend.

#2 Red Rooster

You’re a little bit bogan, but you own it. You don’t try to be something you’re not. You’re a connoisseur of homey, simple foods, or anything injected with cheese (cheesy nuggets, hello). Someone who loves Red Rooster is the most loyal friend you can get — and we mean start a fight with a random at Westfields kind of loyal. What could be better than that?

#3 KFC

There’s never a time when you’re not thinking about the dirty bird. A simple mention of wicked wings or zinger burgers is enough to make you say, “I fuckin’ love KFC” with almost violent enthusiasm. It’s a common fact that people who love KFC are a good time, if a little lazy — you can always rely on them to be the last at the party, but not much else.

#4 Subway

You pretend you’re being healthy, but you’re not fooling anyone. You get a chicken fillet on wholemeal to be a skinny legend, but then add 12 macadamia and white choc chips at the checkout for good measure. It’s all about balance, right?

This kind of thinking is also what justifies your “pingers on a Saturday, acai bowl on a Sunday” lifestyle.

#5 Nandos

Yes, this counts as fast food. We know you tell everyone (and yourself) that it doesn’t. Lean into it, hun.

#6 Oporto

Sorry, are you lost??? The only reason someone would go to Oporto is if a) KFC was closed, or b) you’re hiding from the cops.

Jokes, Oporto is delicious, it’s just underrated and therefore, oft forgotten about. Much like you were growing up.

#7 Hungry Jacks

You try your hardest to be a unique person. Maybe a little too hard. Your three main personality traits are learning the trumpet, reading poetry on the train, and hitting up HJs midweek with your (worryingly gaunt) partner.

We get it — nothing beats a whopper with cheese. And no musician has been good since Kurt Cobain. You’re different.

#8 Kebabs

You’re drunk. Go home.

(Lead image: Feeling Myself video/Youtube)