Culture

Did Tony Abbott Pull The #Libspill Forward Because He’s Getting Cyberbullied?

#ImStickingWithTony is definitely not the morale boost he was hoping for.

by Meg Watson  8 February 2015

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In case you weren’t already aware, it’s ON. Or, to be more precise, it’s more on than it was previously on. Honestly, at this point, it’s kind of hard to keep track.

Despite the fact that the Liberal Party were already holding a special meeting on Tuesday to call a spill motion and sort out their ongoing Tone problems once and for all, this morning Tony Abbott has jumped the gun and announced this will instead take place tomorrow morning at 9am.

“The best thing we can do is deal with the spill motion as quickly as possible and put it behind us,” he said in a statement to the press this morning. “The last thing Australia needs right now is instability and uncertainty.”

This came as an unwelcome surprise to much of his party. It was in fact announced just one hour after Tone’s Communications Minster and main leadership competition Malcolm Turnbull praised the PM for scheduling the vote on Tuesday.

“I think [he’s] shown great respect for the party room by saying that the meeting should be on Tuesday, which is the normal party room meeting,” Turnbull told a Channel Ten reporter outside his house. He then went on to mention how the timing was necessary as many MPs would be making their way to Canberra or consulting with constituents and fellow party members on Monday.

“I know Tony Abbott very well you know he’s a good friend of mine,” he said.

Since then, Turnbull’s expressed frustration with his BFF calling the move another “captain’s call”. When Fairfax asked if he would contest the leadership, he simply said “that’s a hypothetical question for the time being”.

“If for whatever reason the leadership of a political party is vacant then any member of the party can stand, whether they be a minister or a backbencher, without any disloyalty to the person whose leadership has been declared vacant,” he said, sounding disturbingly like a dude justifying cheating on his girlfriend while she’s out of town.

In fact, SMH are reporting that Tone’s decision to move the vote forward has been met with little support from those inside his own party, with some who initially opposed the spill motion now more likely to jump on board.

So, why did he do it? Easy. Cyberbullying.

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#AbsolutelyNoOnesStickingWithTony

I’m just going to put this out there: this has been a rough time for Tone.

Yes, his entire year in office has been A-grade awful, but in the past couple of weeks he’s had the majority of the country and even many in his own party question his judgement, his mates at News Corp have totally turned their back on him, his buds in Queensland had their arses handed to them in the state election, some reports have indicate he may have turned to drugs, and he’s even started referring to mistakes as “doing an Abbott”.

Just take a moment to think about how low your self-esteem has to drop for you to start saying that.

With all that in mind, he must have been elated when he saw some of his old buddies showing solidarity with him. It started last week when NSW Liberal MP Craig Kelly posted the following awkwardly hashtagged sentiment on his Facebook account.

Post by Craig Kelly.

After garnering an unprecedented number of Likes and comments, that message was then followed by the MP posting various letters of support he’s received for the PM. Two days after the initial message he claimed he received 387 positive letters and only four against.

#ImStickingWithTony then started picking up traction on Twitter.

It was finally happening. The people wanted him again. They were saying “boo-urns” all along!

But then this happened.

The people started using their words to hurt him.

Sometimes they even made up mean pictures.

And heaps of them unfairly brought up all that stuff he’d said and done.

Even when it was taken way out of context :'(

It wasn’t just a few mean kids, either.

Though he had some hope, it became clear in time that they weren’t just punking him.

This was definitely cyberbullying.

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Now, I don’t have any confirmation on this or y’know, “actual evidence”, but it would explain a lot.

Tony Abbott could have done this to end his suffering; one less day of electronic graffiti to contend with. Or, this could be one last heroic “fuck you” to the world. Everyone knows that bullies respond to strength and upsetting your executioner’s plans by seizing the gun and pointing it at your head one day early, is about the ballsiest thing I’ve ever heard.

Every man has his breaking point.

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The new meeting will be taking place at 9am tomorrow.