Did Tony Abbott Pull The #Libspill Forward Because He’s Getting Cyberbullied?
#ImStickingWithTony is definitely not the morale boost he was hoping for.
In case you weren’t already aware, it’s ON. Or, to be more precise, it’s more on than it was previously on. Honestly, at this point, it’s kind of hard to keep track.
Despite the fact that the Liberal Party were already holding a special meeting on Tuesday to call a spill motion and sort out their ongoing Tone problems once and for all, this morning Tony Abbott has jumped the gun and announced this will instead take place tomorrow morning at 9am.
Abbott calls cabinet meeting on Monday because it fits perfectly between Scat Sundays and Turbo Tuesday #rekt pic.twitter.com/HZTXvnx1X7
— ¯_(ツ)_/¯ (@courtwhip) February 7, 2015
“The best thing we can do is deal with the spill motion as quickly as possible and put it behind us,” he said in a statement to the press this morning. “The last thing Australia needs right now is instability and uncertainty.”
This came as an unwelcome surprise to much of his party. It was in fact announced just one hour after Tone’s Communications Minster and main leadership competition Malcolm Turnbull praised the PM for scheduling the vote on Tuesday.
“I think [he’s] shown great respect for the party room by saying that the meeting should be on Tuesday, which is the normal party room meeting,” Turnbull told a Channel Ten reporter outside his house. He then went on to mention how the timing was necessary as many MPs would be making their way to Canberra or consulting with constituents and fellow party members on Monday.
“I know Tony Abbott very well you know he’s a good friend of mine,” he said.
Since then, Turnbull’s expressed frustration with his BFF calling the move another “captain’s call”. When Fairfax asked if he would contest the leadership, he simply said “that’s a hypothetical question for the time being”.
“If for whatever reason the leadership of a political party is vacant then any member of the party can stand, whether they be a minister or a backbencher, without any disloyalty to the person whose leadership has been declared vacant,” he said, sounding disturbingly like a dude justifying cheating on his girlfriend while she’s out of town.
In fact, SMH are reporting that Tone’s decision to move the vote forward has been met with little support from those inside his own party, with some who initially opposed the spill motion now more likely to jump on board.
So, why did he do it? Easy. Cyberbullying.
–
#AbsolutelyNoOnesStickingWithTony
I’m just going to put this out there: this has been a rough time for Tone.
Yes, his entire year in office has been A-grade awful, but in the past couple of weeks he’s had the majority of the country and even many in his own party question his judgement, his mates at News Corp have totally turned their back on him, his buds in Queensland had their arses handed to them in the state election, some reports have indicate he may have turned to drugs, and he’s even started referring to mistakes as “doing an Abbott”.
Just take a moment to think about how low your self-esteem has to drop for you to start saying that.
Space surely for 'Doing an Abbott' alongside 'pull a Homer' in all good dictionaries. #auspol #doinganabbott pic.twitter.com/uaRK2FnEBR
— John-Paul Moloney (@jpmoloney) February 3, 2015
With all that in mind, he must have been elated when he saw some of his old buddies showing solidarity with him. It started last week when NSW Liberal MP Craig Kelly posted the following awkwardly hashtagged sentiment on his Facebook account.
After garnering an unprecedented number of Likes and comments, that message was then followed by the MP posting various letters of support he’s received for the PM. Two days after the initial message he claimed he received 387 positive letters and only four against.
#ImStickingWithTony then started picking up traction on Twitter.
Because he was voted in for a full term and has delivered on his electoral promises & handled difficult times well. #ImStickingWithTony
— Liz Shaw (@LizlovesSydney) February 6, 2015
There is NO WAY I'd get behind Malcolm Turnbull @RossCameron4 #ImstickingwithTony
— Vikki (@Scruffbucket) February 6, 2015
#ImStickingWithTony I support @TonyAbbottMHR as leader of the #Liberal Party. I call upon all Liberals to do the same #LibSpill
— Taylor (@taylor_j_mb) February 6, 2015
It was finally happening. The people wanted him again. They were saying “boo-urns” all along!
But then this happened.
#ImStickingWithTony because I missed the 1950s the first time around
— JS (@stevo_top14) February 7, 2015
#ImStickingWithTony because it's the closest encounter with a living dinosaur most of us will ever have.
— Comrade Badham (@vanbadham) February 7, 2015
#ImStickingWithTony because no one else will… pic.twitter.com/eNDk3xUfne
— Roisin O'Reilly (@RoshOR) February 7, 2015
The people started using their words to hurt him.
#ImStickingWithTony cause his book is a best seller pic.twitter.com/1AdfJRJ9MF
— #TeamUnaustralian (@rodgerrodgersu) February 7, 2015
#ImStickingWithTony because statistically, he’s due to do something right any day now
— Chris Wainhouse (@ChrisWainhouse) February 7, 2015
Sometimes they even made up mean pictures.
#ImStickingWithTony because he was great in Lord of the Rings. pic.twitter.com/LtbFhnuJql
— LadySandraSmilesalot (@SandraSmiles) February 7, 2015
#ImStickingWithTony because… pic.twitter.com/QiDy1UIo0i
— Kiera (@KieraGorden) February 7, 2015
#ImStickingWithTony because he has a cool hairdo. pic.twitter.com/SuFqvAhBoW
— Emperor God Goughlam (@leftocentre) February 7, 2015
And heaps of them unfairly brought up all that stuff he’d said and done.
#ImStickingWithTony because how else will women be safe from the carbon tax?
— Simon Taylor (@MrSimonTaylor) February 7, 2015
#ImStickingWithTony …. You bet you are… you bet I am.
— sarah hanson-young (@sarahinthesen8) February 7, 2015
#ImStickingWithTony because………………………………………….. *glares and trembles at reporter for twenty minutes*
— Nick Coyle (@nickcoyles) February 8, 2015
#ImStickingWithTony because he needs to finish off his important work of knighting the royal family.
— Dave Donovan (@davrosz) February 7, 2015
Even when it was taken way out of context :'(
#ImStickingWithTony because he'll make sure important issues like Warringah bin collection day are discussed at #G20 pic.twitter.com/cbOMBJQCOD
— Canberra Memes (@CanberraMemes) February 7, 2015
It wasn’t just a few mean kids, either.
#imstickingwithtony because every time he does something stupid we get more subscribers #butwealwaysneedmore http://t.co/FHdCaWFTCZ
— newmatilda (@newmatilda) February 7, 2015
#ImStickingWithTony because my columns write themselves when he's around.
— John Birmingham (@JohnBirmingham) February 7, 2015
Though he had some hope, it became clear in time that they weren’t just punking him.
#ImStickingWithTony as only under his leadership am I safe from #refugees coming by boat to enrich, contribute & strengthen my country.
— Kon Karapanagiotidis (@Kon__K) February 7, 2015
#ImStickingWithTony because frankly it's more entertaining.
— Ben Cubby (@bencubby) February 7, 2015
#ImStickingWithTony because Game of Thrones is between seasons #GameofTones
— Ayn (@minthotchoc) February 8, 2015
This was definitely cyberbullying.
#ImStickingWithTony because why are you hitting yourself? why are you hitting yourself? why are you hitting yourself? pic.twitter.com/QaQ2OaeH6n
— The Daily Rupert (@TheMurdochTimes) February 7, 2015
–
Now, I don’t have any confirmation on this or y’know, “actual evidence”, but it would explain a lot.
Tony Abbott could have done this to end his suffering; one less day of electronic graffiti to contend with. Or, this could be one last heroic “fuck you” to the world. Everyone knows that bullies respond to strength and upsetting your executioner’s plans by seizing the gun and pointing it at your head one day early, is about the ballsiest thing I’ve ever heard.
Every man has his breaking point.
–
The new meeting will be taking place at 9am tomorrow.