Music

Christopher Pyne Is NOT A Fan Of This So-Called “Lou Reed”

On last night's Q&A, our new Minister of Education had a few words for the fans out there.

Last night’s Q&A panel featured Ray Martin, Wendy Harmer, Christopher Pyne, Joel Fitzgibbon and economist Judith Sloan, who fielded questions about the economy, the school system, and foreign land sales.

After discussing cuts to education, the $500 billion debt increase, and the “left wing agenda” sweeping our schools (another planted question, perhaps?), the final question was asked by one Christine Burton, who just wanted to talk about Lou Reed.

If anybody wants to know whether or not you can pick out a mourning Lou Reed fan in a Q&A audience: you totally can.

fan

It was a very sad day.

“My question is to the whole panel, including Tony,” she began. “It is a sad time, but the legendary singer Lou Reed has passed away at the age of 78 [sic]. His musical career spanned six decades, totalling nearly 30 albums … My favourite song is ‘Perfect Day’ and I’d like each of the panel to say what is their favourite song and if any of you can sing a line or two that would be great too.”

Tony Jones answered with ‘Satellite of Love’. Ray Martin offered ‘I’m Waiting for the Man’. Judith Sloan picked ‘Walk On The Wild Side’. And then, midway through a conversation about what it means for such a transgressional figure to become an international icon, Sloan pointed the finger at Christopher Pyne. “Christopher Pyne hadn’t even heard of him until tonight!”

Christopher Pyne was, as always, outraged. “No, that’s not true. I had heard of ‘Walk on the Wild Side’. But I’m a ‘70s child. Lou Reed wasn’t big in my era.”

Except, of course, he was.

70s

“Yeah, well, I didn’t like him,” retorted a defensive Christopher Pyne. “I didn’t listen to him. He wasn’t playing where I was going.”

He did a lot of this kind of thing with his face.

Lou Reed? Not for me, no thankyou sir.

Not for me, no thankyou sir.

And then it got worse.

“It’s such an ABC discussion to end with a discussion about “Lou Reed”,” he continued. His use of actual airquotes forced Wendy Harmer to retreat to her happy place.

airquotes

“Who even is this “Lou Reed”? Has any body ever REALLY heard of him? Anybody? No? I rest my case.”

“This, you know, “heroin addict” and “transgressional”. So ABC… Apparently if we don’t know who Lou Reed is and love his music as a heroin addict and transgressional whatever, apparently we’re not in the loop,” Pyne whined.

“What about Dvořák?” he demanded. “Or Tchaikovsky?” …WELL?

whatabout

shrugs

Here, Wendy Harmer jumped in, asking who Pyne did love in the ’70s. “He looks like a bit of an ABBA man to me,” Joel Fitzgibbon teased — but Christopher Pyne bit the bait.

“ABBA dominated the ‘70s. ABBA dominated the ‘70s,” he emphasised, twice, for good measure. “ABBA had more hits in Australia than any other country outside Sweden. There’s NOTHING wrong with ABBA. If you want people to dance at a wedding, play ABBA.”

He finished looking smug — and, with the rest of Australia, Wendy Harmer laughed uproariously.

abba

“I JUST LOVE ABBA. ABBA IS WHO I LOVE.”

You can watch the whole thing on iView here.