Bear Grylls Proposed To His Fiancee By Pulling A Ring Out Of His Ass-Crack In The Ocean
For, like, literally no reason.
Celebrity survivalist and odd-name-haver Bear Grylls is the master at doing things in unnecessarily uncomplicated ways. Need a source of protein? Airdrop into the Canadian wilderness and catch a salmon with your bare hands. Jonesing for an apple? Kill that grizzly bear, fashion a walking stick out of its ribs and hike to the nearest farmer’s market. Sun going down? Better drink your own piss.
Such was the mindset Grylls brought to his own marriage proposal. In an interview with Piers Morgan on the BBC’s Life Stories yesterday, Bear recalled the oh-so-romantic moment where he proposed to his wife by pulling a ring out of his ass-crack because he forgot he possesses hands, presumably.
“I pulled out the ring from my butt cheeks,” he recalled. “She was standing there going, ‘What are you doing?’ She was in a towel and a massive Atlantic roller came and I went, ‘Will you…’ — and it went — took me up to the beach.”
“I had all the seaweed and I was spinning around,” he related. “So I tried it again and in this sort of moment of heavy sedation she said yes.”
I imagine it went something like this:
