Australia: You Officially Cannot Get Fired For Doing An Aggressive Chicken Dance
According to THE LAW.
Thank god for the judiciary. Always looking out for our best interests, both as an individual and a society.
The national workplace tribunal has forced Sydney Ferries to rehire an employee after they terminated his contract for mocking a co-worker by using the ever-faithful chicken dance. Apparently one of the two separate chicken dances he employed was caught on CCTV. As depicted here:
The chicken dance was deployed after the accused, Timothy Redden, 51, called his fellow employee a “dog” and then grew enraged when said employee didn’t respond. In a separate incident, he had also called another co-worker a “filthy wog”.
In announcing his decision, Fair Work Commissioner Ian Cambridge described Redden as an “alpha male”, before going on to say “Even unpleasant people are entitled to justice.” Apparently it was “fanciful” to suggest that the dance was “an intentional act to intimidate, harass or otherwise harm another employee”. Hear that, arseholes of Australia? That’s the sound of carte blanche being opened on your proto-bullying ways.
So, with the Christmas season fast approaching – and there sure to be plenty of opportunities for you to belittle, mock and gleefully abuse your quieter, less physically robust colleagues – we thought we’d put together a handy collection of chicken dances for your stylistic inspiration.
This is the “I’m gonna fly one day!”
This is the “pick me, I’m pretty!”
Maybe you could try out this high octane party starter!
Or perhaps you’d prefer to go with a more traditional, sedate style.
Or if you’re really ganging up on the poor sap, then here’s a group formation.
Was this entire story just an excuse to put together a whole bunch of Arrested Development chicken dance GIFs? Yes. But, still, it is nice to know there is someone looking out for the workplace rights of Australia’s worst people. Happy Friday!
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