Culture

Angry Swarms Of Bees Are Bringing Down Drones In Bondi, Have Possibly Begun The Bee Revolution

NOT THE BEES.

by Alex McKinnon  16 October 2014

Want more Junkee in your life? Sign up to our newsletter, and follow us on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook so you always know where to find us.

It began at 2:53pm. ABC Technology Editor Nick Ross tweeted out the following SOS:

Footage soon emerged of unmanned drones being chased, swarmed and brought down by swarms of angry, highly intelligent bees:

We spoke to a shaken but intact Ross via telephone from the scene on North Bondi Golf Course or, as it may come to be known, “Ground Zero”.

“We were flying drones on the seventh green when bees began chasing them and sending them crashing horribly to Earth,” Ross said, the apocalyptic buzzing of a thousand bees threatening to drown out our communication.

The bees have not yet issued demands or made any attempt at communication, but given the high-profile nature of the raid — which was made with journalists from several outlets present — Ross refused to rule out the possibility that this was a premeditated attack on the part of the bees.

“This proves that bees have got higher intelligence levels than any of us suspected. This may be one of the big terrorist attacks of our time.”

Ross asked that, in the event the bees turn on him and he not make it back, this journalist “nominate me for every award under the sun”.

CNet Australia senior editor Nic Healey was also on the scene, and tweeted the following:

Not to jump to conclusions, but based on the situation and the poetic irony inherent in the situation, Healey is almost certainly dead. We will keep you informed if and when Prime Minister Tony Abbott announces martial law in order to combat the bee plague. In the meantime, stay in your homes with doors and windows shut. Do not attempt to go outside. Do not attempt to interact or reason with any bees under any circumstances — they may try to trick you.

In the event bees breach the security of your home, Junkee strongly recommends leaving the smaller, weaker members of your family behind and fleeing to the ocean to begin a new life.

God help us all.