There’s nothing more awkward than introducing your uni squad to your high school mates. You love each group of people individually — but together? Who knows how it’ll go.

Like the five stages of grief, you will no doubt experience the six stages of interaction. You prepare yourself for a rollercoaster (sans vomit and long lines).

#1 Laying Foundations

So you’re talking to your high school friends about these REALLY cool people you’ve met at uni. They say, “wow, I’d love to meet them” — which of course is a not-so-subtle request to meet them.

You’ve entered a contract in which you have no other choice: your two worlds must now collide. Naturally, you elect to meet up at a pub because there’s no social lubricant like alcohol.

#2 Awkward First Exchange

The two parties meet and exchange pleasantries — pleasantries so pleasant you wonder why you’re friends with such pleasant people. Then silence strikes. Deafening, unforgiving silence.

You have to salvage the situation before the awkwardness consumes the night. So, you do what any good MC would do and buy the next round.

This buys you time to come up with conversation topics that will liven up the conversation. You pat yourself on the back for being so crafty, before purchasing the cheapest jugs of beer and cider.

#3 Generic Questioning

You return from the bar to see the two parties conversing. Questions range from the generic to the mundane:

– “What are you studying at uni?”
– “How long does it take you to get to uni?”
– And, my personal favourite, “How sick does the new *insert festival here* line-up look?”

You know it’s time. You bring up an anecdote from the past that you and your friends have told so frequently over the years you’ve mastered it to a tee.

Your uni friends laugh and offer their own anecdotes. Your high school friends laugh at this anecdote. You breathe a sigh of relief.

#4 Branching Off

People start to break into their own conversations at the table. While there’s no mathematical formula (yet), the number of simultaneous conversations going on is one-third to the amount of people present. For example, if there are nine of you, there will be three conversations.

You aren’t sure whether the alcohol is starting to kick in or you’re just bloody amazing at finding social, interesting friends.

#5 Conscious Coupling

While the previous point wasn’t an exact mathematical formula, this next point definitely is. At some point during the night — generally after the conversations split — two people will show more than just platonic interest in each other.

No one can explain why this happens, it just does.

There will be conversations aplenty, and most people will be engaging with different people. Yet, as the night goes on, the time these two potential paramours spend talking exclusively to each other rises exponentially. At least one good thing may come out of the night.

#6 The Verdict

Everyone exchanges warm, sloppy farewells. You are grateful for the existence of alcohol and dance floors. The next morning, you await everyone’s assessment of how it went. This is no ordinary assessment: your social life is at stake.

If at least one party didn’t enjoy the other’s company, you’ll have to repeat the previous steps until you find two agreeable parties. You prepare yourself for the worst: to live a double life for the rest of your life — one with your high school friends, the other with your uni friends.

One person from each party says “we should do it again sometime.” Congratulations — you have successfully integrated two groups of friends, and paved the way for a future filled with reckless nights and more parties.

(Lead image: How I Met Your Mother/CBS)