Dreading your next shift? It’s probs because you’re afraid of what batshit crazy customers you’ll encounter next. Sure, you’re probably also dreading it because your shifts range from monotonously boring to absolute mayhem and never anywhere inbetween. But we reckon we could tolerate any retail job if we didn’t have to deal with the following customers.

The “I want to speak to the manager” customer

Often identified by a simple haircut, these customers are out to make your shift a living hell. Never satisfied with anything you tell them, they’ll insist you don’t know what you’re talking about because you’re just a student. No matter how hard you insist that the manager will not be able to discount an already heavily discounted product, they will not take no for an answer. Cue your manager telling them the exact same thing you told them – but you better believe they’ll continue to argue.

The customer who yells at you when they don’t get what they want

This customer will yell at you about how expensive something is or the fact you don’t have the item stock – basically anything that is completely out of your control. Instead of them understanding when you tell them this, their response is more likely to be “I just think it’s really funny how…”

The customer who will try price match everything they possibly can

This customer doesn’t care if there’s a long line of customers waiting – they’ll make sure they can scrimp and save on every single item they bring to the counter. They’ll often try to price-match something from some obscure foreign website and try to argue why the company’s price match policies are stupid.

The customer who refuses to leave when the store is closed

Everyone has experienced this customer. They’ll walk in when it’s five minutes to closing time and pretend to be shocked when they’re the only person left in the store. Instead of apologising and moving swiftly, this customer will choose now to browse aimlessly, while insisting they can’t come back at any other time. Just wait until they come back five times in the next month to return the items they could supposedly only get that day…

The customer who lets their kids run wild in the store

To the customers who let your kids knock everything off the shelves without apologising, disciplining the child OR cleaning up the mess they made – you’ve ruined my Saturdays for years.

(Lead image: Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion/Buena Vista Pictures)